Happy Mother's Day to not only all of the mommies out there, but to all of the ladies who play a significant role in any child's life, both young and old.
So on this day, my day... I thought it would be a great day to post about my little man. It's been quite some time since I did and what better day than today.?. But I want to make this post more about how we, my son and I, are both doing in the mommy-son department.
My son is now 4 years and 8 months old. Crazy! I will be registering him at our home school this Friday to make his quickly approaching kindergarten days official. Even more crazy! But let me tell you a bit more about who he is at this point.
Interests: My son loves, loves, loves trains and construction vehicles. Loves them. He watches Mighty Machines and can tell you all about the many different types of "diggers" (my word to encompass ALL of them, lol) and trains, especially diesel trains. My son also has an obsession with snakes. I cannot tell you how many toy snakes he has and he plays with them in an equivalent way in which I think a little girl would play with a doll, lol. Except, the snake always ends up wrapping itself around another stuffed animal and eating it, ugh... those damn nonfiction books he loves to "read."
Academics: Well, he is only in Pre-K, but he knows all of his letters and their sounds. He can put the sounds together in short words, but I wouldn't call it reading. He shows interest in it, especially on the computer (www.starfall.com), but that'll come soon enough. He's good with counting and numbers, shapes, and visual spatial skills... he still loves those puzzles. We've even moved on to 3D. His handwriting is... okay? Lol... He likes to draw, but his skills are somewhat lacking. I think that he is very in tuned with his surroundings and he is highly intelligent. However, his coordination skills are a bit behind his intellectual skills. He's never been delayed. In fact, he was an early walker. I just think that my son is definitely a left sided brain person, just like me.
Sports: Swimming was the first thing we tried when he was just two. He liked it, alot. Me, not so much. I very much want him to be a swimmer and he has grown to love the water. He has outgrown me though. More lessons is a must! We also tried soccer when he turned three. It was somewhat a disaster. I posted about it in early 2013. But... I think we are going to try it again in the fall in a real league, not just a YMCA practice/early exposure deal. We started karate in the fall and he took two sessions of it or about 4 months. I thought it was very good for him. I could see his balance and coordination skills growing. But... like with the soccer, he got very silly and baby like. He'd cry when we got there and he'd go in a out of participating. We took a break in the spring because now he is playing tee ball! My son is great runner! I think he very well might just be the fastest on the team. He also has a very throwing arm. However, his biggest downfall, that silliness and attitude. I know he's only four. The rest of his teammates have their moments of silliness too. There's tantrums and all sorts of things going on that field at any given moment. Its quite interesting actually, lol. But what gets me is his attitude. Which leads to...
Personality: My son is dramatic. His teacher at school tells me that all the time. She is also quick to add in that his behavior is just fine. She's not concerned at all and reassures me that I shouldn't worry either. She laughs at him though and tells me how much she enjoys having him in class and his personality. He can light up a room. He really can. I'm not saying that in a biased mommy way. He's just one of those people that have that ability, or gift as I see it, since I am not that person, lol. He is extremely affectionate and sweet. He is such a momma's boy. He very smart, uses big words and is very good at expressing himself. A bit too much sometimes. He is very opinionated and is not shy about sharing what he thinks and feels. He does not always do this in an appropriate way. He gets very sassy with me at times. And on the baseball field, there are moments when he gets mad if he doesn't get the ball and he will say what the thinks, out loud. Yesterday, he threw his mit and I took him out. :(
His truth: I'd say in the past 6 months, he has consistently asked me about his father quite regularly. I'd say about 3-4 times a week, at night when we are recapping the day and doing our bedtime routines, he will ask me about his father. He asks me why he died and why he can't see him anymore. I do not want to lie to him, nor do I want to tell him more than what a four year old should know. I tell him that his father was sick and that he died. I tell him he's in heaven, a special place for people who have died like great-grandma (who died last year) and even a place for pets like Skye and Argyle. He asks me why he can't seen them anymore and I tell him that's what dead means, we cannot see them anymore. Even that is alot to wrap his mind around. He has asked me if I will die and if he will die. I try to avoid answering those questions because I don't want to lie. But I did tell him that when we get old we will, hoping with all my might that is not a lie. He cried and I so did I, inside, for telling him that much. But he is curious about death. He somewhat understands it better and I can see that in the way he plays, with the snake, and even in his language. A couple of weeks ago, he told a little girl, in a very busy Dr's office, that his father died and then turned to me to verify it. It was an unfamiliar and tough moment. It's tough stuff.
And in a nutshell, that's my son. He's absolutely amazing in my eyes but I can also say that yes, he's a typical four year old boy. Now for me...
Exposure: One thing that is important to me as his mother is to expose him to a variety of experiences. We've taken many trips both near and far. He's rode a horse, gone lobster fishing, drove up the west coast of CA, been to Disney, visited the Statue of Liberty, saw Niagara Falls, and have visited countless museums and aquariums. I feel like he has been given some very rich experiences so far. And I am both happy that I have been able to provide what I have so far to him and proud. It has been a complete joy experiencing these adventures with him.
Teacher Mom: I have to admit that I am not such a great "teacher mom." I have not pushed him academically, at all. I encourage him. We read each night and we do his homework, whenever he gets it. But, I have not pushed him to begin reading. I have not pushed him to make his letters better or to draw better. In some ways, my being a teacher is preventing this. I just know what the demands are in the schools even at the kindergarten level. It's a very fine line, I don't want him to be "behind" but I also want him to enjoy being a kid too. Too much of that has been taken away in the schools. I also have not exposed him to much technology either. Ironic since I am actually a technology teacher. I think technology is a wonderful tool. But for the same reasons I have not pushed academics onto him, I haven't pushed technology onto him either. I want him to play creatively with his mind and his toys. I want him to use that physical aspect of that kind of play. Again, I don't want him to be behind or left in the dust as far as being technologically savvy, but... I am betting on his intelligence to pick up things up quickly and my ability as a teacher mom to fill in those blanks in order for him to be highly successful academically. But, not just yet... play, play, play... I don't want to give up that innocence and fun.
Oops: I do use the tv type of technology too much. I won't even sugar coat that one. I used to be so good about it. Then, things just got hard. I found it hard to get things done so I used tv as a babysitter while I got things done, so that I had time to play and spend quality time with him. It sounded like a reasonable trade off. I even saw the benefits of it as shows like Dora and Sesame Street exposed him to some really good things. Even now, he likes Mighty Machines and Dino Dan, still quality shows. But, he is starting to become more and more interested in super heroes, Transformers, and Ninjago. He's growing up, but so is that content and I am not liking it so much. However, at any rate, I need to cut down tv time. Setting a timer has been good for the both of us, it's easy to loose track of time. I just need to get better at it.
Time: Now that I have another significant person in my life, I have felt the crunching of my time. It has thrown off the dynamics of my schedule, and even though its been months, I still haven't developed a new system of routines. I'm off. My time spent with my son has been effected. Honestly though, I think its probably more typical now. It just seems less because it is less, but less than what I was used to spending with him, which was pretty much all day every day minus the time I am at work and minus the 3 hours each week I left him with my babysitter. But it's more than just that... time is taken away from him in the time I have to get household chores done or even getting ready to go out. I think I am still adjusting... adjusting my schedule and routines until I find a good fit and adjusting to having someone else in my life to give my time to as well.
My truth: My truth is my fear that my son shows signs of his father's illness. I know that he is so young. But it is a very real fear of mine. When I talk to other mom's they assure me that my son's behavior is normal and that it is just a phase. This phase, the dramatic and sassy phase, has been my least favorite. I realize that his ability to communicate his emotions is actually a very good thing. However, the way in which he deals with them is not always a good thing. I need to stay strong and consistent with him. But every time I see those very strong emotions... anger or frustration, it pokes me at my most vulnerable place. And it's been very difficult for me. I know that my son has a warm and loving soul. He's good down to the very core. But, I also know how important and what a significant role a parent plays in raising a child. I don't want to take away any piece of his amazing spirit, and at the same time, I don't want to raise a brat. Eeeeh... parenthood!
My gift: Despite the battle with balancing time and using the tv too much and my worrisome ways, I love my son more than anything and nowhere else but on my very own blog would I say that I am doing a kick ass job all by myself! I know that because I can see it in him, even in those moments of outbursts, I can still see that he is a healthy and happy little boy. One of the best gifts that I have given to him besides my own love, is that of my New Yorkers. My New Yorker loves my son. He is completely engaged in his life from going to early morning tee ball games, to buying and building puzzles with him, to working with me to find his voice and role as a father and authoritative figure. We have talked countless times about my son and it was when I shared my greatest fear concerning my son that he gave me one of the best gifts by saying, "I don't know what the future may hold, but I can tell you that your son will be raised in a happy home." How could I ask for more? For my son and for myself? I know down to my core that with him, that is exactly the kind of home we will have, a happy one. But what better gift can I give to my son than to have found a man who loves the both of us and who wants nothing more than to create happy memories with us.
I love the many aspects of me... teacher, daughter, sister, friend... but mommy is what I love best!
So on this day, my day... I thought it would be a great day to post about my little man. It's been quite some time since I did and what better day than today.?. But I want to make this post more about how we, my son and I, are both doing in the mommy-son department.
My son is now 4 years and 8 months old. Crazy! I will be registering him at our home school this Friday to make his quickly approaching kindergarten days official. Even more crazy! But let me tell you a bit more about who he is at this point.
Interests: My son loves, loves, loves trains and construction vehicles. Loves them. He watches Mighty Machines and can tell you all about the many different types of "diggers" (my word to encompass ALL of them, lol) and trains, especially diesel trains. My son also has an obsession with snakes. I cannot tell you how many toy snakes he has and he plays with them in an equivalent way in which I think a little girl would play with a doll, lol. Except, the snake always ends up wrapping itself around another stuffed animal and eating it, ugh... those damn nonfiction books he loves to "read."
Academics: Well, he is only in Pre-K, but he knows all of his letters and their sounds. He can put the sounds together in short words, but I wouldn't call it reading. He shows interest in it, especially on the computer (www.starfall.com), but that'll come soon enough. He's good with counting and numbers, shapes, and visual spatial skills... he still loves those puzzles. We've even moved on to 3D. His handwriting is... okay? Lol... He likes to draw, but his skills are somewhat lacking. I think that he is very in tuned with his surroundings and he is highly intelligent. However, his coordination skills are a bit behind his intellectual skills. He's never been delayed. In fact, he was an early walker. I just think that my son is definitely a left sided brain person, just like me.
Sports: Swimming was the first thing we tried when he was just two. He liked it, alot. Me, not so much. I very much want him to be a swimmer and he has grown to love the water. He has outgrown me though. More lessons is a must! We also tried soccer when he turned three. It was somewhat a disaster. I posted about it in early 2013. But... I think we are going to try it again in the fall in a real league, not just a YMCA practice/early exposure deal. We started karate in the fall and he took two sessions of it or about 4 months. I thought it was very good for him. I could see his balance and coordination skills growing. But... like with the soccer, he got very silly and baby like. He'd cry when we got there and he'd go in a out of participating. We took a break in the spring because now he is playing tee ball! My son is great runner! I think he very well might just be the fastest on the team. He also has a very throwing arm. However, his biggest downfall, that silliness and attitude. I know he's only four. The rest of his teammates have their moments of silliness too. There's tantrums and all sorts of things going on that field at any given moment. Its quite interesting actually, lol. But what gets me is his attitude. Which leads to...
Personality: My son is dramatic. His teacher at school tells me that all the time. She is also quick to add in that his behavior is just fine. She's not concerned at all and reassures me that I shouldn't worry either. She laughs at him though and tells me how much she enjoys having him in class and his personality. He can light up a room. He really can. I'm not saying that in a biased mommy way. He's just one of those people that have that ability, or gift as I see it, since I am not that person, lol. He is extremely affectionate and sweet. He is such a momma's boy. He very smart, uses big words and is very good at expressing himself. A bit too much sometimes. He is very opinionated and is not shy about sharing what he thinks and feels. He does not always do this in an appropriate way. He gets very sassy with me at times. And on the baseball field, there are moments when he gets mad if he doesn't get the ball and he will say what the thinks, out loud. Yesterday, he threw his mit and I took him out. :(
His truth: I'd say in the past 6 months, he has consistently asked me about his father quite regularly. I'd say about 3-4 times a week, at night when we are recapping the day and doing our bedtime routines, he will ask me about his father. He asks me why he died and why he can't see him anymore. I do not want to lie to him, nor do I want to tell him more than what a four year old should know. I tell him that his father was sick and that he died. I tell him he's in heaven, a special place for people who have died like great-grandma (who died last year) and even a place for pets like Skye and Argyle. He asks me why he can't seen them anymore and I tell him that's what dead means, we cannot see them anymore. Even that is alot to wrap his mind around. He has asked me if I will die and if he will die. I try to avoid answering those questions because I don't want to lie. But I did tell him that when we get old we will, hoping with all my might that is not a lie. He cried and I so did I, inside, for telling him that much. But he is curious about death. He somewhat understands it better and I can see that in the way he plays, with the snake, and even in his language. A couple of weeks ago, he told a little girl, in a very busy Dr's office, that his father died and then turned to me to verify it. It was an unfamiliar and tough moment. It's tough stuff.
And in a nutshell, that's my son. He's absolutely amazing in my eyes but I can also say that yes, he's a typical four year old boy. Now for me...
Exposure: One thing that is important to me as his mother is to expose him to a variety of experiences. We've taken many trips both near and far. He's rode a horse, gone lobster fishing, drove up the west coast of CA, been to Disney, visited the Statue of Liberty, saw Niagara Falls, and have visited countless museums and aquariums. I feel like he has been given some very rich experiences so far. And I am both happy that I have been able to provide what I have so far to him and proud. It has been a complete joy experiencing these adventures with him.
Teacher Mom: I have to admit that I am not such a great "teacher mom." I have not pushed him academically, at all. I encourage him. We read each night and we do his homework, whenever he gets it. But, I have not pushed him to begin reading. I have not pushed him to make his letters better or to draw better. In some ways, my being a teacher is preventing this. I just know what the demands are in the schools even at the kindergarten level. It's a very fine line, I don't want him to be "behind" but I also want him to enjoy being a kid too. Too much of that has been taken away in the schools. I also have not exposed him to much technology either. Ironic since I am actually a technology teacher. I think technology is a wonderful tool. But for the same reasons I have not pushed academics onto him, I haven't pushed technology onto him either. I want him to play creatively with his mind and his toys. I want him to use that physical aspect of that kind of play. Again, I don't want him to be behind or left in the dust as far as being technologically savvy, but... I am betting on his intelligence to pick up things up quickly and my ability as a teacher mom to fill in those blanks in order for him to be highly successful academically. But, not just yet... play, play, play... I don't want to give up that innocence and fun.
Oops: I do use the tv type of technology too much. I won't even sugar coat that one. I used to be so good about it. Then, things just got hard. I found it hard to get things done so I used tv as a babysitter while I got things done, so that I had time to play and spend quality time with him. It sounded like a reasonable trade off. I even saw the benefits of it as shows like Dora and Sesame Street exposed him to some really good things. Even now, he likes Mighty Machines and Dino Dan, still quality shows. But, he is starting to become more and more interested in super heroes, Transformers, and Ninjago. He's growing up, but so is that content and I am not liking it so much. However, at any rate, I need to cut down tv time. Setting a timer has been good for the both of us, it's easy to loose track of time. I just need to get better at it.
Time: Now that I have another significant person in my life, I have felt the crunching of my time. It has thrown off the dynamics of my schedule, and even though its been months, I still haven't developed a new system of routines. I'm off. My time spent with my son has been effected. Honestly though, I think its probably more typical now. It just seems less because it is less, but less than what I was used to spending with him, which was pretty much all day every day minus the time I am at work and minus the 3 hours each week I left him with my babysitter. But it's more than just that... time is taken away from him in the time I have to get household chores done or even getting ready to go out. I think I am still adjusting... adjusting my schedule and routines until I find a good fit and adjusting to having someone else in my life to give my time to as well.
My truth: My truth is my fear that my son shows signs of his father's illness. I know that he is so young. But it is a very real fear of mine. When I talk to other mom's they assure me that my son's behavior is normal and that it is just a phase. This phase, the dramatic and sassy phase, has been my least favorite. I realize that his ability to communicate his emotions is actually a very good thing. However, the way in which he deals with them is not always a good thing. I need to stay strong and consistent with him. But every time I see those very strong emotions... anger or frustration, it pokes me at my most vulnerable place. And it's been very difficult for me. I know that my son has a warm and loving soul. He's good down to the very core. But, I also know how important and what a significant role a parent plays in raising a child. I don't want to take away any piece of his amazing spirit, and at the same time, I don't want to raise a brat. Eeeeh... parenthood!
My gift: Despite the battle with balancing time and using the tv too much and my worrisome ways, I love my son more than anything and nowhere else but on my very own blog would I say that I am doing a kick ass job all by myself! I know that because I can see it in him, even in those moments of outbursts, I can still see that he is a healthy and happy little boy. One of the best gifts that I have given to him besides my own love, is that of my New Yorkers. My New Yorker loves my son. He is completely engaged in his life from going to early morning tee ball games, to buying and building puzzles with him, to working with me to find his voice and role as a father and authoritative figure. We have talked countless times about my son and it was when I shared my greatest fear concerning my son that he gave me one of the best gifts by saying, "I don't know what the future may hold, but I can tell you that your son will be raised in a happy home." How could I ask for more? For my son and for myself? I know down to my core that with him, that is exactly the kind of home we will have, a happy one. But what better gift can I give to my son than to have found a man who loves the both of us and who wants nothing more than to create happy memories with us.
I love the many aspects of me... teacher, daughter, sister, friend... but mommy is what I love best!
No comments:
Post a Comment