I was searching for a word today that meant a temporary place in time. Purgatory was what first came to mind, but with that also came suffering, torment, and a horror flick plot. Since I was looking for a word to describe the past three years of my life, purgatory is not how I'd describe it. But I needed something. So thank you Thesaurus.com for suggesting evanescent. Not only did it capture the meaning that I wanted, it did so with grace and beauty in the sound of the word itself... evanescent.
I've known all along that this time for me would be evanescent. I didn't know for how long this time in my life would last, but I knew that it was temporary. I knew that the initial shock, pain, grief, sadness, etc. would ease with time. And it has. I also knew that this time alone was not going to last forever. And it won't. August 1. That is the day that my son and I are moving in with our New Yorker and we officially become a unit, a family.
I am beyond excited to begin this new life with the amazing man that I found in my New Yorker. I'm living it now, to a degree. I would have to be otherwise how would I know? How would we know? And I do, we both do.
But... I am nostalgic when it comes to saying goodbye to the life that I know. There has been something beyond special when I think about these past three years. They tested me to the very core. I found out what both my son and I were made of. We built a life, just the two of us from the rubble of what once was. It was extremely difficult at times, but it was also inspiring, spiritual, beautiful, and absolutely precious. I would not trade these moments, not a single one of them, for anything.
One thing that I may love best about my New Yorker is that deep down, I know that these moments that I cherish so much are not about to end. With him I can breathe. I can be whom I want and do what I want and live the life that I want... and I can do all of this without being alone. That is why he is my amazing. But that doesn't mean that I can't feel a tug at my heart to think back on this time that I am nearing the end of right now.
Evanescent... we never know how long anything will last. Life itself is short. Too short to take for granted and too short to waste.
I've known all along that this time for me would be evanescent. I didn't know for how long this time in my life would last, but I knew that it was temporary. I knew that the initial shock, pain, grief, sadness, etc. would ease with time. And it has. I also knew that this time alone was not going to last forever. And it won't. August 1. That is the day that my son and I are moving in with our New Yorker and we officially become a unit, a family.
I am beyond excited to begin this new life with the amazing man that I found in my New Yorker. I'm living it now, to a degree. I would have to be otherwise how would I know? How would we know? And I do, we both do.
But... I am nostalgic when it comes to saying goodbye to the life that I know. There has been something beyond special when I think about these past three years. They tested me to the very core. I found out what both my son and I were made of. We built a life, just the two of us from the rubble of what once was. It was extremely difficult at times, but it was also inspiring, spiritual, beautiful, and absolutely precious. I would not trade these moments, not a single one of them, for anything.
One thing that I may love best about my New Yorker is that deep down, I know that these moments that I cherish so much are not about to end. With him I can breathe. I can be whom I want and do what I want and live the life that I want... and I can do all of this without being alone. That is why he is my amazing. But that doesn't mean that I can't feel a tug at my heart to think back on this time that I am nearing the end of right now.
Evanescent... we never know how long anything will last. Life itself is short. Too short to take for granted and too short to waste.
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