Where do you begin when you have been gone for so long, only to reappear for an instant to drop a bomb before vanishing once again? I feel like a character in a movie. You know the kind of movie where the troubled child leaves home and then returns only when they need something. Only in this case, I’d prefer to think that I am not troubled nor do I need something. I just miss writing. I miss the structure and routine that I created when I was writing on this blog. Since “retiring” in January, I have since created two other blogs. Neither of which I could commit to in a way in which I had originally envisioned when I first created them. Needless to say, they haven’t turned into much of anything and more importantly, haven’t quenched the desire to express whatever it is that is in me that I feel needs to come out. Although I have to admit, I have had a hard time expressing myself in any sort of written way in well over a year, which is the reason why I had left this blog to begin with. I thought it was this blog’s focus. But it wasn’t. It was is completely me. I have ideas, but cannot put them into words. A complete writer’s block.
So now I am here. I am back. At least I am at this moment, so what do I want to say? (Insert shocked-faced emoji and David Bowie’s “Under Pressure”.) When I think back on all that has happened over the past 12 months, it seems so overwhelming to pick where to begin. Do I start from the beginning? Do I start with my last post, the lonesome random visit to announce my engagement? Or do I start with the moment?
A little over two years ago, I sat in this very same bar that I am sitting in… at this very moment. A glass of Pinot Grigio and a pretzel accompany me, along with my laptop. I think that I am sitting in the very same spot that I occupied while writing that post from the past. I have not yet found this post to reread and to remind myself what was going on at that time. I don’t have to. I was declaring an end to online dating and was looking for different ways to meet people. I was thinking about joining a book club. I had wanted to join a board game “Meet-up” group, and I had just began or was about to begin a belly dancing class. Well… that book club was canceled before I ever began. I did go to a few belly dancing classes and loved it! But I stopped going only after a few classes for the same reason that I never went to the board game group… I had met John.
It’s amazing how today, as I sit in the very same seat… Heck, in the very same shoes (well not literally) that I am here today with such a different head. I guess that is what the future is all about, the wonder. Two years ago, I was looking for the life that I have today. And let me tell you, it’s a pretty damn good one. But the details will have to wait. This bar has become my Wednesday ritual while I wait for my son to finish his religion class. (Whaaaat? I know… that’s a whole story in and of itself!!!).
**I did recall that post quite well. (Climbing Back on to The Turnip Truck)
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