A couple of weeks ago, I was doing laundry. My son came over, grabbed a bunch of towels, and began to help me "fold" them. That simple act made me stop. I wanted to fully absorb that moment because it was one where he reminded me so much of his father. My husband was always so helpful, with laundry, with so many things and I never even had to ask. I could feel the tears start to well up and as they did I looked away. What I realized as I looked away was that I really wasn't looking away. I was surrounded by him, my husband, and the life that we built together. In that moment, I chose not to feel angry for losing him much too soon. I chose to feel blessed. And I am, blessed. I am blessed in that I married a man that I adored, I am blessed for all of the happy memories that we created together, I am blessed for the family and friends that I have in my life, I'm blessed in that I am able to independently support and maintain our home and lifestyle, and I have been absolutely blessed with our son.
My heart is broken and I am very sad, but at the same time, I am thankful for my life. This past year, life has thrown the unfathomable at me and much of the life that I once knew has been completely changed. I have learned how precious life is and I cherish it. For that reason, I fight everyday to "keep truckin'" (as my husband used to say)to move on or more accurately stated, to live.
In choosing a title for this blog, I wanted something that would capture the essence for what I wanted to accomplish by sharing my life with the world. Trees, I love trees. They represent life... perfect. But what kind of tree? Last week, my aunt bought me a necklace made from the leaf of an aspen tree. It was dipped in copper and is simple and elegant and I love it. Aspen trees also create a breathtaking view of colors in the fall, which I love. But perhaps more meaningful than anything else, aspen trees are one of the first plants to regrow after a forest fire, a renewal of life. This blog is about my new life. A life in which I am wiser and stronger. A life that I know if I keep my head up I will find the sun glimmering through and happiness once again.
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