I just got back from a week and a half of a mini-vacation which included a week in my hometown, which is no, not in Alabama. However, this post's title was inspired by the Reese Witherspoon movie, rather than the song.
Overall, I had a great time and it was really nice to stay for a whole week, which I cannot remember doing since... my college days??? However, it turned out to be an interesting week as well...
I am from a small city with a population of about 12,000 people. It's a place where everyone knows everyone and everything, or so they think, lol. The first two days back "home" was refreshing. My parents' house is quiet. They have some land, a vegetable garden, and a few flower gardens. My son loved it as he was able to channel the inner farmer in him. My son also adores my father and had a blast spending so much time with him.
I busied myself with going to the salon, a play date, my nephews' baseball game, Zumba, fireworks, 80's music and dancing at the pier, the beach, shopping, a house party, a family reunion, and my class reunion, phew!
Although I was quite busy, by the time Wednesday rolled around, (I was there Sunday to Sunday) I was starting to feel that old feeling of being out of place all over again. That refreshing and relaxing feeling that I felt surrounded by for the first few days was fading, and quickly. The longer I was there, the more people I saw. The more people I saw, the more gossip I heard. The more gossip I heard, the more I formed opinions about those being gossiped on and the ones telling me all the drama. And most of this was coming from my family (I have a big one, with lots of cousins!)! I have always thought differently than the "others" and I think that's partially why I left and never really came back.
However, as the week went on, I started to think things over in a different way. Feeling different is very isolating. I have spent a great amount of time finding differences between myself and others and focusing on that to the point where I did isolate myself and it's a lonely place that I do not want to revisit. So, I started to think about connections and commonalities that I have with different people. And you know what, it worked! I was more social, less judgemental, and just happier. As I thought about this more, I feel like I have done the same thing in other areas of my life, in particular, my lunch group at work. I am much closer to those colleagues now than I was just months ago. And it is because I looked for commonalities to build on rather than differences to divide.
There will always be differences among people. That is a given. What I am looking for in any relationship is for genuine commonalities. I am not going to pretend anything to fit in and I don't expect and want anyone else to do the same. I think finding myself in this past year has helped me to achieve this mindset. That and my father told me that I had the most sense out of everyone in the family. Thanks dad... hope that pays off!
Overall, I had a great time and it was really nice to stay for a whole week, which I cannot remember doing since... my college days??? However, it turned out to be an interesting week as well...
I am from a small city with a population of about 12,000 people. It's a place where everyone knows everyone and everything, or so they think, lol. The first two days back "home" was refreshing. My parents' house is quiet. They have some land, a vegetable garden, and a few flower gardens. My son loved it as he was able to channel the inner farmer in him. My son also adores my father and had a blast spending so much time with him.
I busied myself with going to the salon, a play date, my nephews' baseball game, Zumba, fireworks, 80's music and dancing at the pier, the beach, shopping, a house party, a family reunion, and my class reunion, phew!
Although I was quite busy, by the time Wednesday rolled around, (I was there Sunday to Sunday) I was starting to feel that old feeling of being out of place all over again. That refreshing and relaxing feeling that I felt surrounded by for the first few days was fading, and quickly. The longer I was there, the more people I saw. The more people I saw, the more gossip I heard. The more gossip I heard, the more I formed opinions about those being gossiped on and the ones telling me all the drama. And most of this was coming from my family (I have a big one, with lots of cousins!)! I have always thought differently than the "others" and I think that's partially why I left and never really came back.
However, as the week went on, I started to think things over in a different way. Feeling different is very isolating. I have spent a great amount of time finding differences between myself and others and focusing on that to the point where I did isolate myself and it's a lonely place that I do not want to revisit. So, I started to think about connections and commonalities that I have with different people. And you know what, it worked! I was more social, less judgemental, and just happier. As I thought about this more, I feel like I have done the same thing in other areas of my life, in particular, my lunch group at work. I am much closer to those colleagues now than I was just months ago. And it is because I looked for commonalities to build on rather than differences to divide.
There will always be differences among people. That is a given. What I am looking for in any relationship is for genuine commonalities. I am not going to pretend anything to fit in and I don't expect and want anyone else to do the same. I think finding myself in this past year has helped me to achieve this mindset. That and my father told me that I had the most sense out of everyone in the family. Thanks dad... hope that pays off!
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