Wednesday, March 5, 2014

My 19 Day Hiatus

Where have I been for the past 19 days?  Other than the 5 days I spent at Disney World, I have no idea.  Things are going very well for me right now, awesome actually, but I feel like I am such a hot mess.  I really am in a disarray and I am fighting to balance and reorganize, but I am not doing such a good job.  Do I really need to dust off The Happiness Project (or atleast draw inspiration from the first month's theme of organize, organize, organize) and attempt it for a third time!?!

As I have shared so many times before, this summer I turned a big corner in my life and it was quite an adjustment.  I was having difficulties with the new found peace that I was feeling because so many of my other feelings and memories had subsided as well.  And although that process was both necessary and important for me to pass, it was still bittersweet nonetheless.  So that threw me off a bit.

Then I got sick in the fall.  Not sick, sick.  But the low energy, nagging dull headache, cough, and sniffles sort of sick.  That lasted forever!  I coughed my way into January and although I feel better now, my energy is not up to par.  I'm sure this incredibly long and extremely cold winter has something to do with it, but it still bothers me.  It bothers me because I feel as though I have become lazy.  Extremely lazy.  This fall I started watching t.v. and really getting into shows that I made an attempt to watch every week.  I haven't done that in such a loong time.  I stopped working out.  First, it was my sickness, then it was the weather.  I signed up for a gym membership last month, went twice.  And I can feel and see the effects of this lifestyle that I don't enjoy but can't seem to break from.  Jiggle. 

I was supposed to start p90x (I quit my gym membership) on Monday.  I started it last year at this time and I really enjoyed it.  It was tough working out 6 days a week, but I dedicated myself and although in the end it was more like 5 times a week, I still finished the program and I looked and felt great!  This year, I want the results, but I know how difficult it was to put all that time into the program and I am having a hard time finding the time.

Time... I have become unorganized in my routines.  I am not accomplishing all that I need and want to each day.  When I don't, it just carries over into the next day and it builds up.  I am finding myself looking for time to blog, workout, even spend with my son.  I don't have any less time (not really) but I don't know what I am doing with the time that I have.  One thing that I do know is that I am going to bed earlier.  Sometimes I'd stay up to 12 or 1 am to finish a blog post.  Or I would start my workout at 10 pm or later if I needed too.  But I am just having a difficult time doing that now.

I also have someone special in my life now.  And as happy as I am that I do, it is an adjustment.  We see each other on average now about every 3 or 4 days.  When we don't see each other, we talk on the phone.  Our conversations have rarely been less than an hour these days.  My relationship is taking time that I used for other things.  (NOT complaining, but it's just reality.) 

I hate this dishevelled state that I am in.  So what do I do?  I think I need to make a list, lol.  Sometimes you need to go back to what works best, and I love me my lists.  Apparently I need a daily checklist of tasks and goals that I want to accomplish each day.  It worked before in the toughest of times, why not when times are good.?.  Once I reorganize, I think that I will find that more time will open up.  With more time (and the NEW p90x3, which is only 30 minutes a workout compared to 60 minutes plus!) I won't have any excuses for not working out.  Working out will help me to increase my energy.  The more energy and time that I have the better the mom I will be.  All of these things will make me feel happier.  And the happier I am the better my relationship with my New Yorker will be and that will make me even happier!

So to sum this all up...

If H=Hiatus, L=Lists, O=Organization, T=Time, E=Energy, HP=Happiness then

-H= HP ( O + T + E)         
                  L

Or in simple Nike terms... "Just Do It!"  


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