Not too long ago, I had a conversation with my best friend about soul mates. I wouldn't consider this friend to be a hopeless romantic, rather a rational and level-headed person. Funny that we never had this conversation before, but I have to admit that I was a little bit surprised when she told me that she did in fact believe in them and that she happened to be married to hers (yay!). However, what was even more interesting was the story she told me about another man...
Mike. I remembered him very well. We all went camping together. My friend dated Mike when we were in college. Mike was a bit older than us. He lived in New York City, had a great job in Manhattan, flew my friend out on numerous occasions to visit him, he was very good looking, and overall a very nice guy. My friend said that on paper, he was perfect. She realized that he wasn't "the one" in the middle of Times Square on New Year's. At the stroke of midnight, while everyone cheered and kissed, my friend looked around and noticed the way that the couple they were with embraced one another. My friend realized that she didn't have that... spark with Mike. Not too long later, they broke up. My friend told me how easy it would have been to get caught up with him and to have stayed with him even though there was something lacking. I think that happens to many people. They get caught in a moment and before they know it, that moment has turned into years, perhaps maybe even a marriage. They get caught in a life that may not necessarily be a bad life, but just not the right life or more specifically a life with the right person.
That happened to my sister whom I had the same conversation with just tonight. My sister divorced after ten years of marriage about two years ago. Last year at about this time, she met a man on an online dating site and 8 months later married him. She too said that she just knew with him. She knew with him what she didn't know with her first husband. She said that in her first marriage she didn't believe in soul mates because she knew that she didn't marry hers so she just told herself that they just really don't exist. My sister now believes that she has found that person who is just right for her.
So what's the connection with this movie? Well if you have watched the video, it appears that this couple is happy and that they are right together. Nope, not the case. I have seen this movie many times, and I have always sided with Tom. Besides the fact that I think he is adorable, he is a hopeless romantic and he just appeals to me. So naturally, I always viewed Summer as a bitch. Not any more. I just watched this movie again this weekend, but with a different perspective, hers. I think that on paper, Tom, like Mike, was perfect. But just not the one. In the movie, Summer recognized this and she left him. She broke his heart in the process but in the long run, she did him (and herself) a favor by being so self aware and brave.
So where does that leave me you may be wondering... I absolutely loved my husband and I envisioned myself growing old together with him. I believe with all of my heart that I was meant to marry him. However, I don't believe that he was my soul mate. Like my sister, I didn't really believe in them because I felt happiness with someone that I didn't feel would be my soul mate if they did in fact exist. I guess now, I would like to believe in them because it just helps to move forward into a future with that much more to look forward too. I just want to be careful so that I don't get caught up in any moments with someone who may knock my socks off, but really isn't Mr. Right. Again, trust your gut, own your own truth, and be strong.
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