This new month may begin a new chapter in my life and a new chapter of entertainment for all of you "Glimmering..." blog readers. I had really felt that with the opening of this new year, I might be ready to get out there again. So although I had given myself "permission," when it came down to it, I just didn't feel ready in January. However, even though it's only the second day of February, I now feel ready. I don't really know why now, but I think it has to do with all of the things I had worked so hard at in January. I was busy tying up loose ends, organizing my apartment, crossing things off of my "to-do" list, and what all of those accomplishments created was a sense of peace in my life. I feel like I have my life in order. I am confident in who I am and what I want and I am now willing to dip my toes into the dating pool.
I have only told the people I am closest with that I am about to take this plunge. It's not necessarily that I want to keep it a secret, it's just that I am not sure if I am truly ready and I won't know until I actually get out there. If I feel that I am not, I know that I can always pull out and wait until I feel more comfortable. However, despite feeling like I am ready now, the thought of dating again has brought about a variety of emotions.
My mood right now is a good one, so I am going to focus on just one of these emotions, and that is plain and simple, I'm nervous. I say this with somewhat of a chuckle however. I am 33 years old and the only person that I have ever dated was the man I ended up marrying. I met him when I was just shy of 19, my first semester in college, and I was with him ever since. I had never dated anyone in high school. I had been out of a couple of dates, but that was about it. I'm not really sure why that was, it seems so long ago. From my recollection, I think that the guys that I liked didn't like me and the guys that liked me, I didn't like, so I didn't date. Looking back on it now, I wish that I had dated more back then. I wish I had taken advantage of getting to know different people and having more experiences. However, at the same time, it was high school. I grew up in a small town and I am not sure exactly how much I missed out on.
So I am nervous because this is all such unfamiliar territory for me. I am sure to have many awkward moments, but if nothing else, I will have some funny stories to share on my blog, lol. I am not going to pressure myself in any way, but one of my other emotions is excitement. I am hopeful and optimistic and for now, positive feelings are good and I am going to go with it.
I have only told the people I am closest with that I am about to take this plunge. It's not necessarily that I want to keep it a secret, it's just that I am not sure if I am truly ready and I won't know until I actually get out there. If I feel that I am not, I know that I can always pull out and wait until I feel more comfortable. However, despite feeling like I am ready now, the thought of dating again has brought about a variety of emotions.
My mood right now is a good one, so I am going to focus on just one of these emotions, and that is plain and simple, I'm nervous. I say this with somewhat of a chuckle however. I am 33 years old and the only person that I have ever dated was the man I ended up marrying. I met him when I was just shy of 19, my first semester in college, and I was with him ever since. I had never dated anyone in high school. I had been out of a couple of dates, but that was about it. I'm not really sure why that was, it seems so long ago. From my recollection, I think that the guys that I liked didn't like me and the guys that liked me, I didn't like, so I didn't date. Looking back on it now, I wish that I had dated more back then. I wish I had taken advantage of getting to know different people and having more experiences. However, at the same time, it was high school. I grew up in a small town and I am not sure exactly how much I missed out on.
So I am nervous because this is all such unfamiliar territory for me. I am sure to have many awkward moments, but if nothing else, I will have some funny stories to share on my blog, lol. I am not going to pressure myself in any way, but one of my other emotions is excitement. I am hopeful and optimistic and for now, positive feelings are good and I am going to go with it.
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