This time of year is a hard time. The 3rd of August held our anniversary. The 9th was his birthday. And the 9th of September is our son's birthday. These are probably the three hardest days aside from May 17th, the day he died.
I am already in the seconds though. All of these dates are now the second without him. I am starting up another school year soon, the second without him. Time does help tremendously, but there is still that hole. That ache for life to have taken a different turn. But I have kept with the traditions that I started last year and they help. I don't think that turning my thoughts and feelings towards the positive do not repress the sadness. I think it channels and allows the the sadness to shine in light rather than darkness.
On August 3rd, the date which would have been our 10th wedding anniversary, I wrote cards to all of the people that have been the most influential in my life during the past year. Some roles were larger than others, but every one's influence in my life has made a difference to me and I am so happy that they are in my life. My card, was just a way for me to express my appreciation for their kindness, love, and support. Because this is completely genuine, I really kept it to a small crowd. I didn't thank everyone who was kind to me (there were plenty!), but just to my inner circle and to a few people who are approaching that circle. There were some people that I wrote to last year, that I did not write to this year with no hard feelings whatsoever. And there were some people that I wrote to this year that I didn't write to last. I am sure that as people come and go in and out of my life, there will be changes. But I do know that I have a core group this will stick by me no matter what and it makes me happy to share my love and appreciation with them. August 3, 2002 was a day that I will always remember with love and happiness and I plan on continuing to spread that as the years go on.
On August 9th, my husband would have been 37. That was our first day in California and I have to say that it did help take my mind off the date. However, the tradition that I started last year with my son was to "celebrate" this date with an ice cream cake. By celebrate I mean that its just a way to remember what this date means and to talk about him and look at pictures, etc. A quiet celebration. What made me happy was that even though we were not home, we were still able to keep this tradition. We found an ice cream shop in Los Angeles, had the ice cream and I talked to my son about this day and his father. My son doesn't say much about his father (he's so young) but I think its still important for me to talk about him and to keep his memory alive for my son, who understands much more than he verbally communicates.
My son's 3rd birthday will be coming up in less than 2 weeks now. My how he has grown. His birthday is a tough day though. It is very bittersweet. But, at least I have him and he makes everything brighter.
I am already in the seconds though. All of these dates are now the second without him. I am starting up another school year soon, the second without him. Time does help tremendously, but there is still that hole. That ache for life to have taken a different turn. But I have kept with the traditions that I started last year and they help. I don't think that turning my thoughts and feelings towards the positive do not repress the sadness. I think it channels and allows the the sadness to shine in light rather than darkness.
On August 3rd, the date which would have been our 10th wedding anniversary, I wrote cards to all of the people that have been the most influential in my life during the past year. Some roles were larger than others, but every one's influence in my life has made a difference to me and I am so happy that they are in my life. My card, was just a way for me to express my appreciation for their kindness, love, and support. Because this is completely genuine, I really kept it to a small crowd. I didn't thank everyone who was kind to me (there were plenty!), but just to my inner circle and to a few people who are approaching that circle. There were some people that I wrote to last year, that I did not write to this year with no hard feelings whatsoever. And there were some people that I wrote to this year that I didn't write to last. I am sure that as people come and go in and out of my life, there will be changes. But I do know that I have a core group this will stick by me no matter what and it makes me happy to share my love and appreciation with them. August 3, 2002 was a day that I will always remember with love and happiness and I plan on continuing to spread that as the years go on.
On August 9th, my husband would have been 37. That was our first day in California and I have to say that it did help take my mind off the date. However, the tradition that I started last year with my son was to "celebrate" this date with an ice cream cake. By celebrate I mean that its just a way to remember what this date means and to talk about him and look at pictures, etc. A quiet celebration. What made me happy was that even though we were not home, we were still able to keep this tradition. We found an ice cream shop in Los Angeles, had the ice cream and I talked to my son about this day and his father. My son doesn't say much about his father (he's so young) but I think its still important for me to talk about him and to keep his memory alive for my son, who understands much more than he verbally communicates.
My son's 3rd birthday will be coming up in less than 2 weeks now. My how he has grown. His birthday is a tough day though. It is very bittersweet. But, at least I have him and he makes everything brighter.
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