A Heavy Heart

I felt like there wasn't anything else that I could post until I posted about Friday's tragic event.  I didn't hear a single thing about what happened until about 4 o'clock.  I was at the gym and just got onto the bike and when I saw what the little t.v. was showing me, I just couldn't believe it was real.  I sat there watching the news and riding that bike as tears rolled down my face.  There are not any words to describe the depths of sadness for such an unfathomable event.

As both a mother and a teacher, this incident hit so close to home.  I look at my son and I cannot imagine life without him.  He is only a couple of years younger than those children.  They are so innocent.  So vibrant.  So full of potential.  My heart breaks for those parents as I just cannot imagine their sorrows.

I have always been proud to call myself a teacher.  As stories have unfolded about the heroism of the teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary, I am even more so.  I only hope that God forbid I should ever find myself in a situation such as that, that I wouldn't panic, but that I would  be able to act in a heroic manner as well.  I say that not only for the safety and lives of the children that I teach.  But I too entrust my son's life and well being in the hands of others and I can only hope that he would be taken care of in the same way.

There is a third layer that hits close to home as well and that is of mental illness.  I have no soap box to step onto right now nor do I feel like this is the place for it as well.  All that I can say is that the mind is incredibly powerful and it doesn't loose that power no matter how sick it may be.  And that is frightening.

Sometimes life grants us a second chance.  Unfortunately in this case, there is no second chance.  It just is.  Terrible.  Painful.  Sad beyond all measures.  Those who were directly effected have their own paths of healing to begin.  But for the rest of us... we have been effected too.  Leaving politics at the door... What can we do?  Look at the big picture.  Get your priorities straight.  Cherish the people whom you love most.  Enjoy life.

Friday night, I didn't hug my son extra tight.  I hugged him just the same as I do every night.  I am not the mother of the year, nor is he a perfect angel every second of everyday.  Perhaps I learned the hard way as well, but I am so thankful for him everyday.  And each day brings hugs and kisses and hand holding no matter what our moods may be during and throughout the day.  My son and the many wonderful people in my life are what matter most, everything else is just details.  I think we all are reminded of that when something tragic like this happens.  The key is to not let that feeling fade.