Limbo... as in teetering back and forth between assumptions, expectations, and pure hope and faith. The unknown... I have realized that I do not function well in limbo. I find it extremely unsettling and I hate that feeling. When the truth is out there, I just want to know.
I have not always felt this way. I actually lived in limbo for quite some time. I didn't know half of the time if I was coming or going. I felt like I was walking on eggshells. At the time though, it was the norm and I didn't feel the way that I feel now when I am in limbo.
There are many scenarios in which I think we can feel stuck, helpless, and just waiting in limbo. I have a friend whose grandfather is not doing very well. She recently shared with me how she felt like she was living day to day in limbo not knowing what that day would bring for him. She was reliving all of the emotions of potentially losing a loved one day after day. That is such a difficult situation. When the future seems bleak, the only alternative to settling that feeling of limbo is an outcome full of heartache.
Fortunately for me, I am not in a state of limbo such as my friend. In just this past week, two different people put me in this unsettling state by not fully communicating with me. This is the type of limbo that I was accustomed to previously, but that I can no longer take. It's just not acceptable for me to let anyone put me in that position because I absolutely hate it.
I have to admit that I am finding that I think about The Four Agreements quite often. They really do help to put people and life into perspective and I find them rational and calming. So how have they helped me this past week? For one, I have had to remind myself not to take anything personally. That can be hard to do, but when I step back, I can see how I am not the center of their universe and that their decisions and actions do not revolve around me, they revolve around themselves and who they are and what is going on in their lives. This has helped for me to take a deep breath and respond and act in a way that am proud to represent myself in (be impeccable with your word.) I have also tried to keep an open mind and to not let assumptions creep in, so I have asked lots and lots of questions. I don't always feel comfortable asking loads of questions, but I have gotten much more comfortable putting that to the side and asking anyways and if I feel the need, I explain why it is that I am asking all that I am. The last of the four agreements is to always do your best. Sometimes it is hard to know if someone else is doing their best because it can change from time to time, day to day. Asking questions and communication in general can help for you to better understand a person to help you to determine if what you are getting is their best. However, even at one's best it doesn't mean that your needs are being met. It can still be disappointing none the less.
I think on that last one, the best that you can do is to do your best. My best is to work through the first three agreements and to do all that I can on my part to move out of limbo and into a more calming and amiable situation. That's not always easy, but all that you can expect out of anyone including yourself is the best that you can do at any given time. And you hope that is enough.
I have not always felt this way. I actually lived in limbo for quite some time. I didn't know half of the time if I was coming or going. I felt like I was walking on eggshells. At the time though, it was the norm and I didn't feel the way that I feel now when I am in limbo.
There are many scenarios in which I think we can feel stuck, helpless, and just waiting in limbo. I have a friend whose grandfather is not doing very well. She recently shared with me how she felt like she was living day to day in limbo not knowing what that day would bring for him. She was reliving all of the emotions of potentially losing a loved one day after day. That is such a difficult situation. When the future seems bleak, the only alternative to settling that feeling of limbo is an outcome full of heartache.
Fortunately for me, I am not in a state of limbo such as my friend. In just this past week, two different people put me in this unsettling state by not fully communicating with me. This is the type of limbo that I was accustomed to previously, but that I can no longer take. It's just not acceptable for me to let anyone put me in that position because I absolutely hate it.
I have to admit that I am finding that I think about The Four Agreements quite often. They really do help to put people and life into perspective and I find them rational and calming. So how have they helped me this past week? For one, I have had to remind myself not to take anything personally. That can be hard to do, but when I step back, I can see how I am not the center of their universe and that their decisions and actions do not revolve around me, they revolve around themselves and who they are and what is going on in their lives. This has helped for me to take a deep breath and respond and act in a way that am proud to represent myself in (be impeccable with your word.) I have also tried to keep an open mind and to not let assumptions creep in, so I have asked lots and lots of questions. I don't always feel comfortable asking loads of questions, but I have gotten much more comfortable putting that to the side and asking anyways and if I feel the need, I explain why it is that I am asking all that I am. The last of the four agreements is to always do your best. Sometimes it is hard to know if someone else is doing their best because it can change from time to time, day to day. Asking questions and communication in general can help for you to better understand a person to help you to determine if what you are getting is their best. However, even at one's best it doesn't mean that your needs are being met. It can still be disappointing none the less.
I think on that last one, the best that you can do is to do your best. My best is to work through the first three agreements and to do all that I can on my part to move out of limbo and into a more calming and amiable situation. That's not always easy, but all that you can expect out of anyone including yourself is the best that you can do at any given time. And you hope that is enough.
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