I have had a very difficult time finding words lately. I've felt this way ever since my trip to the northwest in August. I have written some posts since then and I have certainly sat down with the intent of posting, but I have felt that all that I have attempted to write and even those that I posted have been lacking that certain something.
Since this blog's main purpose is for me to therapeutically release my thoughts, I really can't complain that I haven't had the burning desire to form thoughts in need of releasing. Although quiet, I have been in a state of a peaceful lull and its been comforting. The comfort comes in the reason for this state and that is what I took from my trip. I feel that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Things just feel right. And those thoughts have quieted my mind. What is there to question and ponder if that is how I truly feel? And I do.
Tonight my mind began to waken. Just because I have felt at peace with myself and where I am in this moment does not mean that I have completely closed my mind to what is going on around me. There are still people coming in and out of my life influencing me in one way or another. There are still things that I am learning as I am still moving forward. My feelings didn't become dormant and I haven't been spared from confusion and hurt. What I no longer feel is that everything is going to be okay, that it will all work out for the very best. I know it... and that is the core of my peaceful lull. However, I found this state by being totally and completely awake and aware of the decisions, choices, and options that I have had either given to me or created by me. I am where I am because of my thoughts and I know its okay to think them... analytical, rambling and all.
Since this blog's main purpose is for me to therapeutically release my thoughts, I really can't complain that I haven't had the burning desire to form thoughts in need of releasing. Although quiet, I have been in a state of a peaceful lull and its been comforting. The comfort comes in the reason for this state and that is what I took from my trip. I feel that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Things just feel right. And those thoughts have quieted my mind. What is there to question and ponder if that is how I truly feel? And I do.
Tonight my mind began to waken. Just because I have felt at peace with myself and where I am in this moment does not mean that I have completely closed my mind to what is going on around me. There are still people coming in and out of my life influencing me in one way or another. There are still things that I am learning as I am still moving forward. My feelings didn't become dormant and I haven't been spared from confusion and hurt. What I no longer feel is that everything is going to be okay, that it will all work out for the very best. I know it... and that is the core of my peaceful lull. However, I found this state by being totally and completely awake and aware of the decisions, choices, and options that I have had either given to me or created by me. I am where I am because of my thoughts and I know its okay to think them... analytical, rambling and all.
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