Saturday, September 7, 2013

The French Connection

The other night after my son had gone to bed and I finished all of my chores, I sat down and did something that I don't do all that often.  I turned on the television, ooohhh, lol.  What came on was Nick Jr, the last station we had watched.  The show that was on was called "Take Me to Your Mother" and the premise of this realty t.v. show is that of a new mother who is trying to learn from just about anyone and everyone who will give her their opinion on motherhood and on raising a son.

So when I turned it on the other night, she was learning about this phenomenon from a group of French ladies.  I did not see the whole episode, but what I did see of it did make me think about that article that I linked in my last post.

The first topic that the French women spoke to Andrea (the main character) about that I saw was that of her appearance.  She was going to be going to a dinner party and Andrea seemed to be at a loss as to what was appropriate to wear.  Although I do not know the Andrea's back story, it appeared to me that she a mother who was a hot mess.  She seemed to have gotten lost in the day to day caring of a toddler and didn't know how to turn off that switch, appearance wise.  She went to a boutique tried on a few outfits and looked awesome!  She has a cute figure and the right close for her body made all the difference.  Even she admitted that she felt sexy and pretty in these clothes.  (French women also spend a great deal of money on lingerie, but I'll save that fun topic for another day.)

After flipping back and forth, I came back to the end of the show when she was at the dinner party with these French moms.  Andrea was very impressed at how well behaved the children were at the table and that they were eating the same dinner as the adults.  The mothers explained that the children were taught this at a very early age.  They did not make a difference meal for them.  It was expected that the children would eat the same as the rest of the family.  They also shared some other expectations, such as not sharing their beds with their children.  When I was listening to this dinner party conversation, I couldn't help but to feel a connection the these French mothers and their philosophies.  Now, I do not know if they represent the whole population of French mothers and perhaps these women were just lucky to have well behaved children or maybe it was the cameras in their faces, but... I still felt connected.

The key point that these mothers tried to make was that you cannot lose yourself after you have children.  They even told Andrea to think about who she was before she had her son.  Now, you can't ever go back to the life that you had before children, you shouldn't really want to.  But, that doesn't mean that you can't be a close version of your old self... just updated with wisdom, patience, and an extraordinary love.  Boundaries need to be set.  Not only so that you do not become a slave to motherhood and lose yourself.  But also because children need them too.  As a teacher I know how children actually thrive on structure and routine and that is created through setting boundaries.  Setting boundaries is a win win for everyone.

So... feel pretty and don't become ruled by your children.  That's what I learned from this episode and the French mommies.  That plays right into that article on how to keep a happy marriage during all of the chaos which is life with children.  

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