Yah, that's right. I got a b!+c# slap... from my gut. That's what I get for not listening to it and it didn't hold back.
Last week, I wrote about "My Epiphany" and if any of you read that and just shook your head when you got to the tale of the professor, well that head shakin' was deserved.
Last week, my new found friend not only sustained a texting conversation with me for three days in a row, but initiated them! By day two, it was obvious. By day three, it became official when he asked me over to his apartment.
What's wrong with this is that he told me that he didn't have time for a relationship with me. When I called him out on it, he defended himself by saying that he didn't have more time now... exactly my point. He didn't have any more time than he did before, yet... he made the time to converse with me much more than he did at any other point.
If we had hung out as friends and if we found ourselves caught in a moment, I would have been okay with that. But, not like this. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Because Mr. Professor, you are not so spectacular that I'd take what I can get from you. Sex is easy. I'd rather walk into a bar and find a one night stand than to take you up on that booty call.
What surprised me the most was how this made me feel. I've met some creepy guys out there online, who have sent me some skeethey messages and pictures and paid no heed. But this was different. He made me feel pretty awful actually. He rejected me as someone with whom he wanted to have a serious relationship with (which was apparent by his making time for me...) only to offer up a forget the wine and dine hookup.
After I said my final goodbye on Friday, I immediately felt better. I even laughed about this with a friend. However, to be quite honest, only hours before I was in tears because for some reason, this just really struck a chord with me.
Lesson learned... trust your gut. I never thought I knew for sure how I felt about this guy. I kept him around because I was unsure. When I have been unsure with any other, I walked away without a second thought. I didn't know why I wouldn't or couldn't with him... maybe because he was that guy I wanted to date. Anyways... thank you, thank you gut for making it clear to me that I need to trust you, even when I think I'm not sure, I really am deep down.
(This is why my last post about appreciating the process is going to be one I need to refer back to and often... it's tough out there! And oh, the stories I have, lol.)
Last week, I wrote about "My Epiphany" and if any of you read that and just shook your head when you got to the tale of the professor, well that head shakin' was deserved.
Last week, my new found friend not only sustained a texting conversation with me for three days in a row, but initiated them! By day two, it was obvious. By day three, it became official when he asked me over to his apartment.
What's wrong with this is that he told me that he didn't have time for a relationship with me. When I called him out on it, he defended himself by saying that he didn't have more time now... exactly my point. He didn't have any more time than he did before, yet... he made the time to converse with me much more than he did at any other point.
If we had hung out as friends and if we found ourselves caught in a moment, I would have been okay with that. But, not like this. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Because Mr. Professor, you are not so spectacular that I'd take what I can get from you. Sex is easy. I'd rather walk into a bar and find a one night stand than to take you up on that booty call.
What surprised me the most was how this made me feel. I've met some creepy guys out there online, who have sent me some skeethey messages and pictures and paid no heed. But this was different. He made me feel pretty awful actually. He rejected me as someone with whom he wanted to have a serious relationship with (which was apparent by his making time for me...) only to offer up a forget the wine and dine hookup.
After I said my final goodbye on Friday, I immediately felt better. I even laughed about this with a friend. However, to be quite honest, only hours before I was in tears because for some reason, this just really struck a chord with me.
Lesson learned... trust your gut. I never thought I knew for sure how I felt about this guy. I kept him around because I was unsure. When I have been unsure with any other, I walked away without a second thought. I didn't know why I wouldn't or couldn't with him... maybe because he was that guy I wanted to date. Anyways... thank you, thank you gut for making it clear to me that I need to trust you, even when I think I'm not sure, I really am deep down.
(This is why my last post about appreciating the process is going to be one I need to refer back to and often... it's tough out there! And oh, the stories I have, lol.)
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