I've felt that this new phase of my life is meant for me to embrace, love, and accept my life... the good, the bad, and the ugly. My "writer's block" has really prevented my from writing as much as I'd like and I haven't thought about and shared what I am and have been and hope to embrace with all that has, is, and will be coming my way. But for now as I still am, I am going to focus on...
Embracing Singlehood...
No compromising. No explaining or justifying. No guilt.
I love the feeling of being able to come and go as I please. I love being able to spend all of the major holidays with my family. I love being able to get up and go visit them whenever I want and for however long I want. It is liberating to be able to make a decision that I want to do something and being able to do it. The only person in the way is me. I have taken day trips, long weekend trips, and long vacation trips that revolved around my schedule. I had the freedom to choose where I wanted to go and to do what I wanted to do there.
*I do take my son into consideration and I do make decisions that revolve around him. With him, it doesn't feel like I am compromising. I love doing "his thing" with him too. But when I am not, I have gotten over myself and don't feel guilty when I go out and do things without him. We both deserve that time away from one another.
I can go at my own pace. I am not a natural domestic woman. I like a clean home, but it is not always in tip top shape. I do make sure that certain things are clean, like the floor my son plays on so much and I always do the dishes. However, right now, I am still in the middle of putting away and organizing from my room swapping/redecorating fiasco. There are some corners of my apartment that are pretty messy! Does it bother me? Yes. But I am not going to break my back or stay up super late or not blog to tackle it quicker. It's just me and my son. He's not complaining, so I am content with having it take a week rather than a couple nights to sort out. And I don't have to feel guilty about it nor do I need to explain myself.
Redecorating.... I have done quite a bit in my apartment in the past two years and other than an orange wall request from my son for his bedroom, I called all the shots. This place is completely me. It feels good. I feel comfortable here... as I should, right?
It was very difficult to admit that my new found single hood was both liberating and exhilarating. I remind myself that I was right there with him in the storm of his depression and it was debilitating and consuming. He chose what he chose. And he left me by my self. So when I tell myself that I am embracing what life has given to me and making it my own and making do what I need to find peace and happiness... that is a pill I can swallow. And I can embrace.
Embracing Singlehood...
No compromising. No explaining or justifying. No guilt.
I love the feeling of being able to come and go as I please. I love being able to spend all of the major holidays with my family. I love being able to get up and go visit them whenever I want and for however long I want. It is liberating to be able to make a decision that I want to do something and being able to do it. The only person in the way is me. I have taken day trips, long weekend trips, and long vacation trips that revolved around my schedule. I had the freedom to choose where I wanted to go and to do what I wanted to do there.
*I do take my son into consideration and I do make decisions that revolve around him. With him, it doesn't feel like I am compromising. I love doing "his thing" with him too. But when I am not, I have gotten over myself and don't feel guilty when I go out and do things without him. We both deserve that time away from one another.
I can go at my own pace. I am not a natural domestic woman. I like a clean home, but it is not always in tip top shape. I do make sure that certain things are clean, like the floor my son plays on so much and I always do the dishes. However, right now, I am still in the middle of putting away and organizing from my room swapping/redecorating fiasco. There are some corners of my apartment that are pretty messy! Does it bother me? Yes. But I am not going to break my back or stay up super late or not blog to tackle it quicker. It's just me and my son. He's not complaining, so I am content with having it take a week rather than a couple nights to sort out. And I don't have to feel guilty about it nor do I need to explain myself.
Redecorating.... I have done quite a bit in my apartment in the past two years and other than an orange wall request from my son for his bedroom, I called all the shots. This place is completely me. It feels good. I feel comfortable here... as I should, right?
It was very difficult to admit that my new found single hood was both liberating and exhilarating. I remind myself that I was right there with him in the storm of his depression and it was debilitating and consuming. He chose what he chose. And he left me by my self. So when I tell myself that I am embracing what life has given to me and making it my own and making do what I need to find peace and happiness... that is a pill I can swallow. And I can embrace.
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