Passion

Passion... defined as an intense desire or devotion to a person or a thing.  It's a compelling emotion, an arduous love...  

I am a person who appreciates a wide range of interests.  As an adult, I have never felt as though I was particularly strong or shined in any one area (except two).  I always felt as though I knew a little bit about many things rather than knowing a great bit about few things.  

When I was younger, I was very passionate about sports.  I started to play softball at a very early age and was quite good at it.  My teams always did very well.  I was even part of the New York State Little League Champions of 1994, lol.  In high school, I took up soccer.  This was the weakest of my "big three," but I had a great time.  I put in a lot of effort to get better, to be the best that I could, and if nothing else, I was in phenomenal shape.  My favorite though was basketball.  I loved, loved, loved basketball.  I even went to college to play basketball (that in itself is another story).  It didn't matter the season or the sport, I was committed to each one and I was busy year round, for years and years.  This passion however did fade after I went to college and didn't play anymore.  

Immediately following my college years, I got a full time teaching job.  I loved it.  It became my new passion.  I poured in hours and hours making my lessons the best I could possibly make them, taking professional development classes, taking graduate courses, volunteering to tutor, etc., etc., etc.  Admittedly, I do not pour in those hours like I did with gusto in my earlier years.  But, I still consider myself passionate about my career even as I have begun to look into different avenues and opportunities within the realm of education.  I feel that I have grown as a person and have new desires and have a need for new challenges.  It has nothing to do with a lack of passion, I believe it is because of my passion that I want to expand myself in my field.  

My other passion lies with my family.  In particular the family that I chose to create.  The family created when I was married.  This family included the two dogs that my husband and I raised from the time they were only weeks old until just recently (they are now almost 11 and 10) and of course the family that was complete with the birth of our son.  

I do have loving parents, siblings, grandparents, countless cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends.  But I don't live near any of them (except friends).  I keep in touch, but it's different when it's long distance.  So, my family that I still hold so much passion for now only consists of my son.  I love being a mother. I am not perfect by any means.  But I try to be the best and to do the best for my son, whom I love above all else.  

In this new life, I have begun to discover things about myself that were both either known and hidden or just completely foreign to my knowledge.  Instead of feeling all over the place, I do feel that I have a more defined identity and I feel that part of the reason are these new interests (they don't yet deserve the title of passions, yet) that I have found.  

This is what puts a smile on my face...

• Writing - This blog has not only been therapeutic for me, I actually do enjoy it.  I have lists in my head of future post topics and I love when they hit me at the most random of times.  I also have started to embrace the fact that I love writing curriculum and this is the avenue that I am going to peek into it to see if it is something that I truly have a passion for.  If not, there is always that unfulfilled dream of becoming a children's book author.  I have written a couple actually, but no, I am not published.
• Photography - I shared some of this just the other day.  This is one that took me by surprise.   But it makes me feel happy to be able to enjoy the beauty in the most simplistic of things.  I have begun to look at galleries and showings of some of these more well known photographers.
• Wine - I had wanted to start a wine club.  But recently had some friends over and found that just sitting around drinking wine and talking is fun enough.  No need to make it educational.  That's what wine classes are for, which I do want to take.  And a stop in Napa Valley when I'm in California is definitely on the agenda.
• Music, The Classical Stuff - When I was pregnant, I used to listen to Yo Yo Ma and fell in love with him and his cello.  I have since added on the piano, in particular Dustin O'Halloran and Michael Nyman.  
• The British Accent - (lol)  I seem to love all English movies.  And would love, love to date someone with English ties.  
• Travel - In this past year, I have traveled both near and far.  I have been to Washington D.C., North Carolina, Virginia, Maine, Las Vegas and The Grand Canyon.  I have also travelled across New York State, literally, more times than I can count.  And, I still have two definitive plans this summer, The Adirondack's and California.  I think all things considered, that's pretty good.  I have met some neat people and have had a great time on all of my trips.  I look forward to even more great experiences in travelling.  
• Reading - I have started a book club and will be reading wide variety of genres there.  But, I also enjoy reading the National Geographic Travel magazine, and The Smithsonian.  I feel like they help culture me in a sophisticated way, lol.  
• Finally, Yoga and Pilate's!  They both work my body, relax my mind, and best of all, make me feel great inside and out.  I actually look forward to going to the gym now.

Where is this all coming from?  Well, I was going to open with the inspiration for this post, but it's dorky.  Very dorky.  This past fall, I bought myself an individuality bracelet.  I always wanted a charm bracelet, but never had one.  I'm glad I held out though.  These bracelets have many charms, but the majority consist of glass beads, which I love.  I decided that I was going to take my time in filling up my bracelet and buy beads only to represent certain aspects of myself, events, or memories.  My first bead, Purple Flower, was chosen to represent passion.  I wanted to remind myself that even though I have no idea where this life of mine is going to lead me,  I want to walk my path with passion.  Is it really worth doing something, something chosen, something by choice, if it's not done with passion?