The 4 Agreements

In my quest to find myself, I had to let go and be completely honest with myself about who I am and what I value most to emulate in my everyday life.  In January, when I began The Happiness Project, I listed some words of wisdom and of encouragement as to what I believed was important.  This list came from who I was to a degree, but more than that, the type of person that I wanted to strive to be.

Not too long ago, I came across "The Four Agreements" by don Miguel Ruiz who wrote his book based on "ancient Toltec wisdom".    These four agreements are meant to help one to live with more integrity, self awareness, and peace.  You may understand why this caught my attention.  I do not plan on making these four agreements my motto to live by.  However, I do see value in them and can see how attempting to live by them could potentially make one's life happier.

So without further ado,

The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

***

I do not plan on giving updates on how I am doing with each of these agreements.  However, I may mention them from time to time.  Right now, I would like to write about the first agreement and its importance to me in this moment.  

One of my own "commandments" is share your thoughts with tact and dignity.  This has been something that I have tried very hard to do in these past few months.  I have always been an very private person.  I have always been a very shy person as well.  I have seen first hand how important it is to share your thoughts whether they be personal, work related, happy, or sad.  Everyone's thoughts hold value.  How one presents themselves shows their worth.  So, I have stepped out of my box and have begun to share both my inner deep thoughts and more trivial ones as well.  However, no matter the thought, I have truly tried to share them in a classy way, with tact and dignity.  

It is my hope to continue to do just that.  It is also my hope that I present myself in that manner on this blog.  It is important to me to be impeccable with my words during the next couple of weeks as I reflect back and relive the life and the loss with my husband.  I hope that what I do share will be said with such grace so that it will only honor his memory.