Monday, February 25, 2013

Finding that "Perfect Home"

I am sure at some point I have mentioned my love for HGTV.  I used to be addicted to the house buying shows like House Hunters and Property Virgins.  I loved, loved, loved them.  When I bought my own house, I ended up with the first one that I looked at and I have to admit, I felt a bit jipped.  Good thing HGTV allowed me to live vicariously through others as I tagged along on their journey to finding their perfect house. 

No, no way am I looking to purchase a house right now.   My thought however is this... Is finding that "perfect" home like finding that "perfect" partner?

When buying a home, there are some big things that almost everyone considers like location and price.  Also, there is that feeling that people are looking for when they walk into a house.  That indescribable feeling that assures them that this is just the place for them... home.

When looking for a long term partner we have our own list of personal needs and wants, just like one would have in searching for a home.  There may be some unexpected and pleasant surprises that pop up and some things that we may have to compromise and give up in order to get as close to what we want as possible.... wait, was that last statement geared towards house hunting or partner hunting?  ;)


But what about that feeling?  Well, on HGTV, if a person isn't feeling it and it is a great house, the relator or perhaps the significant other tries to persuade the hesitant one by showcasing all of its great features.  And many times, it works!  I have yet to find a new home owner admit that they purchased the wrong home (at the end of a 30 minute show).  I do wonder how many do end up regretting their decision.  But I do agree that sometimes it does take the perspective of another and a kick in the a$$ to make us see something that we should, but for some reason may be blinded too... wait, was that last statement geared towards house hunting or partner hunting?  ;)

As I am writing this, I am also texting one of my very insightful friends who incidentally just bought a house a few months ago.  She told me that they actually found a home they loved, but lost it.  Oh, the one that got away.  :(   The house that they did buy has a lot of potential and since moving in, she says it really has grown on her.  Hmmm....

When I met and married my husband, I have to admit that I didn't think much about it.  I went with my feelings and I was in love.  Despite all that has happened, I have no regrets as my feelings were genuine and I was happy.  I feel that I was meant to marry him.  Now, I have experience and wisdom that are not going to allow me to solely follow my feelings this next time around.  However, I do not want to become mechanical in finding a partner though either.  I don't want to be consumed in thoughts and analysis of the people that I date because I think that takes away from that pure excitement and joy in meeting someone that makes you feel something magnificent.  Because unlike a home... you cannot change someone to fit your needs, wants, and desires. 

I think there needs to be a balance.  You need both, or atleast I do.  With the man that I have posted so much about in the past month or so, I definitely had that feeling (in fact I still do :() and at one point he seemed to be nearly all that I needed and wanted with both compromise and pleasant surprises.  As time went on and communication broke down,  many of those great qualities that I need in a man seemed to disappear.  Last week, I went out with another man.  I had a great time.  He was a gentleman.  He was interesting.  He was cute.  I didn't feel a thing.  I just couldn't imagine myself touching him or being touched by him.  I don't know why I felt this as he was not an unattractive man.  I wondered if I should go out with him again (and again) to see if that spark appears, but perhaps he was feeling the same towards me as we texted a few times after the date, but then we both seemed to disappear. 

I write all the time about finding that someone amazing... to me that amazing person will fulfill my needs and my wants... although I'm sure will be altered through both compromise and pleasant surprises.  And I will have that indescribable feeling that he is just... home. 

Although I am a big fan of the song "Home" by Philip Phillips, there is another song called "Home" that I have been waiting for over a year to find the perfect post to share it with.  This version of "Home" is by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros and its sweet and fun, and I am so glad to finally be sharing it.














2 comments:

  1. Good analogy. Yes, in some way finding that "perfect" home is like finding that "perfect" partner. You’ll never be truly happy if you settled for the wrong one. Moreover, both comes with great consideration. There will be ones you’ll grow a feeling with but never meant to be yours, and there will be “the one that got away” whom you lost because of awful circumstances. You’re lucky to have found the perfect choice. =) Calvin @ CityBlockTeam.com

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  2. Thank you Calvin for reading my blog and commenting. I always wonder who reads this and its interesting to know that it stuck out to someone in the real estate world. :)

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