I know that someday I will again find love. I know that with that will bring much joy and happiness. I know that now I feel like I am truly ready and I very much cannot wait to find it. However...
I know that the dynamics of what is now my family (my son and I) will change. Welcoming a man, a new father into my son's world will be so wonderful for him. However, despite the positive changes what will eventually happen one day, they are still changes.
Right now, it is just me and my son. Yes, we have other people in our lives but on a day to day basis, it's just the two of us. My son is fully aware of this and I can honestly say that I feel appreciated by him. He is so loving and caring and he is always wanting to help me whether its with cleaning, laundry, cooking, or taking care of the garbage, I feel as if he knows he is the man of the house. There is no doubt in my mind that there is going to be a battle for alpha male once that time comes, lol. My son and I have a very special bond. It is one that I never would have had with him had we not had to endure what we did because (even though he was so young and little) we did it together.
One day I know that I will look back on these days and there will be a part of me that will miss them. Although I would never again want to experience and walk down the path that my life had taken nearly two years ago, I know that there has been something precious, something sacred in them. I will forever be grateful that I had my son because he was a constant reminder of all that is good in the world and all the beauty that life has to offer. All I have to do is look into his innocent blue eyes that are just filled with joy and wonder.
So on this Valentine's Day, I am not going to focus on who I do not have in my life, but who I do have in my life. There is a tremendous amount of love in my home and for that I am truly blessed and I do not take one bit of that for granted. These truly are days to remember.
I know that the dynamics of what is now my family (my son and I) will change. Welcoming a man, a new father into my son's world will be so wonderful for him. However, despite the positive changes what will eventually happen one day, they are still changes.
Right now, it is just me and my son. Yes, we have other people in our lives but on a day to day basis, it's just the two of us. My son is fully aware of this and I can honestly say that I feel appreciated by him. He is so loving and caring and he is always wanting to help me whether its with cleaning, laundry, cooking, or taking care of the garbage, I feel as if he knows he is the man of the house. There is no doubt in my mind that there is going to be a battle for alpha male once that time comes, lol. My son and I have a very special bond. It is one that I never would have had with him had we not had to endure what we did because (even though he was so young and little) we did it together.
One day I know that I will look back on these days and there will be a part of me that will miss them. Although I would never again want to experience and walk down the path that my life had taken nearly two years ago, I know that there has been something precious, something sacred in them. I will forever be grateful that I had my son because he was a constant reminder of all that is good in the world and all the beauty that life has to offer. All I have to do is look into his innocent blue eyes that are just filled with joy and wonder.
So on this Valentine's Day, I am not going to focus on who I do not have in my life, but who I do have in my life. There is a tremendous amount of love in my home and for that I am truly blessed and I do not take one bit of that for granted. These truly are days to remember.
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