Earlier this week marked one month since last hearing from that guy. I have to admit that every time I picked up my phone, I was hoping that there would be a message waiting for me from him. But although I wanted that, I really didn't want that. Why? Good question. ;)
I think that I have established that I really liked him. In this past month, I thought about why I really like(d) him. I went back and reread old texts, thought about things we said and did, etc. I have to admit that I got the best of him in that first month and like I stated before, he was wonderful! We didn't go out to the finest of restaurants and he never bought me flowers... but that is not how I want to be impressed. He did do all of the little things... he listened, he was patient, he was sweet, he put me first. He also complimented me with words like beautiful, amazing, and sexy. He took interest in my son (although they never met) and when my son was sick, I got texts asking just about him. Many of those great qualities leaked over into the months following that first, but there was a definite distance that developed after all the drama that happened to him at the very end of that blissful first month. At the time, I felt as though he was really into me and even as I went back and reread words knowing what I know now, I still feel that he really liked me. He did tell me that and at first his actions matched, but then they did turn on and off.
So why the distance? I have spent an embarrassing amount of time on Google trying to figure that out (perhaps that will be my next post, lol). But apparently this happens and it happens all the time. Perhaps I should have been Googling before I started dating, lol. In his case, I think it mainly has to do with how it all ended with his ex. It was just bad. I don't think it's lingering feelings that got in the way as it was fear going into another relationship. Everyone needs time to heal and I think he tried to rush it with me but in reality he became emotionally unavailable. And I did exactly what I needed to do, get out. But, I have to admit that I would like to hear from him again. Just not now. It is way too soon for him to have "healed" to contact me. I also feel that the longer (I'm not talking years) he waits, the more respectful that is towards me.
Am I kidding myself? Absolutely not. One, I am a great catch. Two, he really is a good guy. Three, I will not contact him and I am not sure if he will contact me or not. What I am sure of though is that I am not waiting. I am moving along just as I have been doing for the past year and a half. Should he ever decide to contact me, I will be that much better a person. Oh, and I am not about to settle by any means so I expect game on... I will accept nothing less than to be completely impressed and amazed. So anyways, let's get to the point of the post... "The Un-Waiting Game."
One thing I told him was that "part of any one's journey is to continue to learn and to grow and that will not happen if one stops." I have been so busy this past month and for that I am really proud of myself. (Just because I love lists...)
I think that I have established that I really liked him. In this past month, I thought about why I really like(d) him. I went back and reread old texts, thought about things we said and did, etc. I have to admit that I got the best of him in that first month and like I stated before, he was wonderful! We didn't go out to the finest of restaurants and he never bought me flowers... but that is not how I want to be impressed. He did do all of the little things... he listened, he was patient, he was sweet, he put me first. He also complimented me with words like beautiful, amazing, and sexy. He took interest in my son (although they never met) and when my son was sick, I got texts asking just about him. Many of those great qualities leaked over into the months following that first, but there was a definite distance that developed after all the drama that happened to him at the very end of that blissful first month. At the time, I felt as though he was really into me and even as I went back and reread words knowing what I know now, I still feel that he really liked me. He did tell me that and at first his actions matched, but then they did turn on and off.
So why the distance? I have spent an embarrassing amount of time on Google trying to figure that out (perhaps that will be my next post, lol). But apparently this happens and it happens all the time. Perhaps I should have been Googling before I started dating, lol. In his case, I think it mainly has to do with how it all ended with his ex. It was just bad. I don't think it's lingering feelings that got in the way as it was fear going into another relationship. Everyone needs time to heal and I think he tried to rush it with me but in reality he became emotionally unavailable. And I did exactly what I needed to do, get out. But, I have to admit that I would like to hear from him again. Just not now. It is way too soon for him to have "healed" to contact me. I also feel that the longer (I'm not talking years) he waits, the more respectful that is towards me.
Am I kidding myself? Absolutely not. One, I am a great catch. Two, he really is a good guy. Three, I will not contact him and I am not sure if he will contact me or not. What I am sure of though is that I am not waiting. I am moving along just as I have been doing for the past year and a half. Should he ever decide to contact me, I will be that much better a person. Oh, and I am not about to settle by any means so I expect game on... I will accept nothing less than to be completely impressed and amazed. So anyways, let's get to the point of the post... "The Un-Waiting Game."
One thing I told him was that "part of any one's journey is to continue to learn and to grow and that will not happen if one stops." I have been so busy this past month and for that I am really proud of myself. (Just because I love lists...)
- I have gone out a lot with my girlfriends!
- I even met up with some new "friends" and had a play date with them (and our kids too ;)).
- I cut my hair to try and give myself a new look.
- I have made many changes to my apartment and have completely changed one room entirely!
- I went out on a date. I also got "dumped" and "stood up"... but that's not my fault, I am trying!!
- I think planning a vacation on my own is still a big deal. I'd very much prefer to not go alone, but I am not going to let that stop me from going somewhere I really want to visit.
- I have decided to take my self work to the outside... Wednesday is the big day... p90x get ready for me. Lol... I know, it's really the other way around.
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