"You always made me feel amazing."
That's what I got back in return.
There was an apology, more sweet words, and well wishes of happiness. I've been told and am learning that you need to teach people how you want to be treated. I think that my initial text, which was also delivered in good spirit, made it comfortable and possible for this response to find its way to me.
And I am happy that it did. Amazing. That is my word. I use it all the time. I want amazing. It is an incredible feeling to know that you have the ability to make someone else feel amazing. It's incredible because our time spent together was always very simple. It's incredible because I was my true self with him, cheesy dork and all.
I wish I had a definitive ending to tell you. But I don't. We exchanged more texts and we ended up confusing one another. Me and my wordy words, him and his vague ones. We need to talk... in person. We need to move beyond the written word. I don't want to just hear them either, I want to see him say them.
Even though we have not set anything up, I am nervous. I have really stepped outside of myself here. I've initiated contact with someone who did hurt me and with whom I didn't know would have wanted to hear from me. I've opened up and shared my thoughts and did so honestly. I would never have considered myself a persistent person, especially in an area in which I am so uncertain, but that's who I have been in this case. I am seeing different parts of myself that I didn't know truly existed. I'm not sure what to make of it... why am I doing this and is it the right thing?
How do you know when it is better to leave something be?
How do you know when to let go?
How do you know when to step out of your comfort zone and pursue something you are basing mainly on a feeling?
What if it is a gut feeling?
I have no idea what is going to happen. I feel that in this case that I don't want to error on the side of caution. I would rather make the mistake of letting him back in and potentially getting hurt again than to make the mistake of letting a person who has the potential to be amazing go.
Above all, I need to know his truth and take it one step at a time from there.
That's what I got back in return.
There was an apology, more sweet words, and well wishes of happiness. I've been told and am learning that you need to teach people how you want to be treated. I think that my initial text, which was also delivered in good spirit, made it comfortable and possible for this response to find its way to me.
And I am happy that it did. Amazing. That is my word. I use it all the time. I want amazing. It is an incredible feeling to know that you have the ability to make someone else feel amazing. It's incredible because our time spent together was always very simple. It's incredible because I was my true self with him, cheesy dork and all.
I wish I had a definitive ending to tell you. But I don't. We exchanged more texts and we ended up confusing one another. Me and my wordy words, him and his vague ones. We need to talk... in person. We need to move beyond the written word. I don't want to just hear them either, I want to see him say them.
Even though we have not set anything up, I am nervous. I have really stepped outside of myself here. I've initiated contact with someone who did hurt me and with whom I didn't know would have wanted to hear from me. I've opened up and shared my thoughts and did so honestly. I would never have considered myself a persistent person, especially in an area in which I am so uncertain, but that's who I have been in this case. I am seeing different parts of myself that I didn't know truly existed. I'm not sure what to make of it... why am I doing this and is it the right thing?
How do you know when it is better to leave something be?
How do you know when to let go?
How do you know when to step out of your comfort zone and pursue something you are basing mainly on a feeling?
What if it is a gut feeling?
I have no idea what is going to happen. I feel that in this case that I don't want to error on the side of caution. I would rather make the mistake of letting him back in and potentially getting hurt again than to make the mistake of letting a person who has the potential to be amazing go.
Above all, I need to know his truth and take it one step at a time from there.
No comments:
Post a Comment