Brighter Days

Last year, although times were difficult, things just seemed to work out for me.  It seemed to flow smoothly.  This year, so far, not so much.  There have been many bumps in the road so far and I am looking forward to some brighter days. 

I don't even need to go back and reread the majority of my posts from the past couple of months, I know they have been... rather intense.  Some events still get to me, like saying goodbye to that guy.  Some events have helped me to see things in a different way and have acutally helped me to move on in a healthier way (going through the steps of grieving).  And some events I had absolutley no control over and are just sad (the deaths of my grandmother and dog). 

My head is not in a cloud though.  There have been some good things going on.  I have some things to look forward too.  And I am excited about sharing them.  I just felt like I needed to deal with everything else first.  Now that I have, I am looking forward to bringing an upward beat back to this blog. 

But before I do, I have some new reminders to help me keep on the path that I have chosen to walk along.



Forgiveness
As I took the journey through the stages of grief for a suicide loss, I realized that what was keeping me stuck, was that I needed to forgive.  I was acting like I forgave my husband, but I had never put blame on him for his actions.  It was difficult to do.  But once I did, forgiveness swept in quickly and this time, it was authentic and genuine.  This is a difficult time of year with the 2nd anniversary approaching quickly.  I have to admit, that I feel so much more at ease and peaceful after I found forgiveness.  I think forgiveness applies to other people and other situatins as well and it is a valuable lesson that I learned.  I chose this bead because the tourquise swirl seems to dissolve into the clear glass, just as what you are holding on to should when you forgive. 


 



My Skye Bead... Treazured Memories of the Past
When my male dog passed away last year, I bought the white bead with black flowers to represent the loss of loved ones and keeping them close to your heart.  When my female dog passed away, I knew that I wanted the exact opposite bead to place next to "The Argyle" bead.  This one not only reminds me of her, a black and white border collie as was the other, but it reminds me of the past (and my dog held so many memories to that past).  The black background is the past... the door that has closed and we can never go back to.  The white flower signifies all of the wonderful precious memories that we will carry with us forever. 

My bracelet is filling quickly.  Wouldn't it almost be poetic in a way that once it is filled, it would symbolize that I have learned what I needed to in order to truly move on?