Saturday, January 25, 2014

Be Brave

I am nearing the end of space on my charm bracelet.  Each bead representing something learned in the past two years for me... All, except one.  My rose quartz bead.

I knew after our first date (two months ago today!) that there was something different about him.  I left that first date feeling an appreciation for a man who stood out from the others because I felt he was the real deal.  I didn't know if his deal was that kind that I wanted, but I appreciated him for just being himself.  It wasn't long after that first date that I realized that this man was someone who was capable of taking me outside of my comfort zone, if I let him.  And I wanted him to.

When I decided that, I realized to my dismay that I do carry some baggage.  I do have hold ups and reservations and fears that no amount of talking about and no amount of wishful thinking can cure.  The only thing that I can do is to face them head on.  Since these are issues surrounding being part of a relationship, there is no alternative.  I cannot avoid them if I want to be part of any meaningful relationship.

So when I came across a rose quartz bead in my search for beads to represent my learning of embracing and enjoying the process and maintaining all that I learned and believed in to get me to where I am, I had to buy it.  Why rose quartz?  My friend carries a rose quartz crystal with her all the time.  It's believed to attract and to keep love.  That is why she carries it.  However, it is also believed to "heal one's heart from pain" and to help "dissolve painful memories related to love."  That is why I carry it.

Why is it important to step outside of your walls of comfort?  It's because that's how you grow as a person.  Because I saw him as a real person, I felt that I could trust him.  That makes him a safe person.  However, that doesn't make the fear any less.  It just made me more brave to face my fears.  But it's scary.  It's still putting myself out there.  It's still risky.  It's still awkward. 

People do all sorts of things to help them deal and face their fears.  I bought a $20 bead of rose quartz.  And if it has helped in any way, it was such a small price to pay for something amazing.




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