I think that one of the keys to being happy is to have a balanced life. Everyone has different needs and wants so everyone juggles with their own personal balancing act. To top that all off, our needs and wants are influenced and effected by outside forces, so we have to throw that into the mix as well. So finding a healthy, happy balance takes a great deal of effort.
I feel out of balance right now. These past few months have just been... strange and I feel as though things just built up and threw me out of whack. I'd have to say, it started this summer. Despite having spent a good amount of time with my parents and sending my son to day care atleast once a week when I was back home in New York, the summer was tiring. We traveled alot and were always on the go. Then there was the trip to California where my son and I spent 24 x 7 x 10 - 45 minutes (he spend with my brother in the pool) together. It was exhausting. I am not complaining about any of this. My summer was fantastic! I enjoyed not only giving my son many different experiences, but I enjoyed being able to experience so many wonderful times with him as well! I should have been able to recoup in the following weeks, but I really didn't.
In September, school began and I went back to work. That meant that my son went back to day care full time. This is when he began to not fall asleep at night. My son, who used to fall asleep within 15-20 minutes of putting him down was now taking 1.5-2 hours to fall asleep! I lay down with him each night. That's something that I started after my husband died and it's just something that stuck. It's actually precious and I love it, but after so much time, I have to admit it loses its charm. However, what that meant for me was a few things... 1. Sometimes I fell asleep waiting with him. Then I would wake groggy and would have a bunch of things to do before I could go to bed. 2. Even if I didn't fall asleep. Instead of being able to begin my housework and school work and relaxation time around 8 o'clock, I wasn't starting it until 9, 9:30, even 10 sometimes. That meant I stayed up later to finish or I just didn't do it. It took me a couple of months to realize that it was the naps that he was taking at day care. He still naps and I have tried to adjust, but it's still difficult to get everything done that I would like to each night.
I also decided in September that I wanted to take this dating thing a bit more seriously and find someone that I could see myself potentially going out with atleast more than once. Sorting through and e-mailing, texting, or talking to people that you meet online can be a job all on its own. It's very time consuming and as I stated above, my time was dwindling. However, I did have two dates... the first one stood me up and I never heard from him again, lol. The second I did have and that just so happens to be the same guy that I am still... talking, seeing, dating?... today. We saw each other a bunch of times in October and that added another element into my balancing act.
I have to admit that I have not seen or have gone out with my friends as much as I would have liked to or as much as I did last year. Part of it is my fault and my inability to find the time and money to do so. However, some of my friends are going through some changes in their lives too like new homes and pregnancies, so it has been a combination. I did host one dinner party and had lots of fun. But it was only one. Hurricane Sandy, the holiday season, and now the flu have all contributed to cancellations and that's been a big letdown for me.
October was actually really great! Every weekend was planned with some wonderful fall festivity to do. That is when my son and I went to Mystic, CT for the long weekend. Looking back now, I was so excited to do as many fall activities as I could, I didn't plan anything with anyone. It was me and my son... again. I should have planned better and have done some of those activities with some of my friends who have children my son's age. That would have helped balance things out.
Hurricane Sandy hit just a couple of days before Halloween. It was such a strange time. I am so lucky that I did not lose anything, not even electricity. But it still caused such havoc. One, we were home bound for almost a week. A couple days were spend inside because of the weather. Then afterwards, there wasn't much to do outside because the city shut down. It wasn't safe to walk around. Stores, parks, etc. were all closed. Even as things started to slowly open and get back to "normal" there was the issue of gas. No one had it, so no one went anywhere. It took a good few weeks just for us lucky ones to get back to normal. That time was very mentally exhausting because I was with my son and it mainly was just the two of us. There wasn't anywhere to go and there was so much going on that even play dates seemed to be too much. I love him dearly, but it took its toll... on both of us, lol.
Before I knew it, it was already Thanksgiving. I drove across state for a few days to spend the holiday with my family. It was also during this time that my new "friend" (ugh, I hate to call him that, but since I haven't posted anything much about him, that's what I will call him for now) and I were having a difficulties finding the time to see one another. He had a lot going on and I just didn't know what was going on with us. I didn't know him that well or for that long, but I really liked him so it was a bit troubling.
December... started off great! I thought things were finally getting back on track. Every weekend was booked... Polar Express with friends and kids, two weekends in a row with visitors, my birthday... it was all great! Then I got sick. I got sick in middle of December. I just finished my antibiotics last week and this week my son had the flu. It's been almost a month of sickness and it has been draining! I've been such a hermit, and not by choice.
So here I am today... trying to find what I need and want to do to shift the weight over towards my side a bit more. When I read what I just wrote, there is nothing that was so awful that happened and I am very fortunate for that! Ironic that many of the things that I feel helped throw things out of balance were positive things... like vacations and holidays.
I feel that last year, I knew that I had to focus on finding myself and I had to make sure that I was doing things to that would ensure my mental and physical health. And I did. And it felt great, I felt great! I was a more energetic mother, friend, and teacher. I need to find that again. And I will, as long as I can find that balance.
I feel out of balance right now. These past few months have just been... strange and I feel as though things just built up and threw me out of whack. I'd have to say, it started this summer. Despite having spent a good amount of time with my parents and sending my son to day care atleast once a week when I was back home in New York, the summer was tiring. We traveled alot and were always on the go. Then there was the trip to California where my son and I spent 24 x 7 x 10 - 45 minutes (he spend with my brother in the pool) together. It was exhausting. I am not complaining about any of this. My summer was fantastic! I enjoyed not only giving my son many different experiences, but I enjoyed being able to experience so many wonderful times with him as well! I should have been able to recoup in the following weeks, but I really didn't.
In September, school began and I went back to work. That meant that my son went back to day care full time. This is when he began to not fall asleep at night. My son, who used to fall asleep within 15-20 minutes of putting him down was now taking 1.5-2 hours to fall asleep! I lay down with him each night. That's something that I started after my husband died and it's just something that stuck. It's actually precious and I love it, but after so much time, I have to admit it loses its charm. However, what that meant for me was a few things... 1. Sometimes I fell asleep waiting with him. Then I would wake groggy and would have a bunch of things to do before I could go to bed. 2. Even if I didn't fall asleep. Instead of being able to begin my housework and school work and relaxation time around 8 o'clock, I wasn't starting it until 9, 9:30, even 10 sometimes. That meant I stayed up later to finish or I just didn't do it. It took me a couple of months to realize that it was the naps that he was taking at day care. He still naps and I have tried to adjust, but it's still difficult to get everything done that I would like to each night.
I also decided in September that I wanted to take this dating thing a bit more seriously and find someone that I could see myself potentially going out with atleast more than once. Sorting through and e-mailing, texting, or talking to people that you meet online can be a job all on its own. It's very time consuming and as I stated above, my time was dwindling. However, I did have two dates... the first one stood me up and I never heard from him again, lol. The second I did have and that just so happens to be the same guy that I am still... talking, seeing, dating?... today. We saw each other a bunch of times in October and that added another element into my balancing act.
I have to admit that I have not seen or have gone out with my friends as much as I would have liked to or as much as I did last year. Part of it is my fault and my inability to find the time and money to do so. However, some of my friends are going through some changes in their lives too like new homes and pregnancies, so it has been a combination. I did host one dinner party and had lots of fun. But it was only one. Hurricane Sandy, the holiday season, and now the flu have all contributed to cancellations and that's been a big letdown for me.
October was actually really great! Every weekend was planned with some wonderful fall festivity to do. That is when my son and I went to Mystic, CT for the long weekend. Looking back now, I was so excited to do as many fall activities as I could, I didn't plan anything with anyone. It was me and my son... again. I should have planned better and have done some of those activities with some of my friends who have children my son's age. That would have helped balance things out.
Hurricane Sandy hit just a couple of days before Halloween. It was such a strange time. I am so lucky that I did not lose anything, not even electricity. But it still caused such havoc. One, we were home bound for almost a week. A couple days were spend inside because of the weather. Then afterwards, there wasn't much to do outside because the city shut down. It wasn't safe to walk around. Stores, parks, etc. were all closed. Even as things started to slowly open and get back to "normal" there was the issue of gas. No one had it, so no one went anywhere. It took a good few weeks just for us lucky ones to get back to normal. That time was very mentally exhausting because I was with my son and it mainly was just the two of us. There wasn't anywhere to go and there was so much going on that even play dates seemed to be too much. I love him dearly, but it took its toll... on both of us, lol.
Before I knew it, it was already Thanksgiving. I drove across state for a few days to spend the holiday with my family. It was also during this time that my new "friend" (ugh, I hate to call him that, but since I haven't posted anything much about him, that's what I will call him for now) and I were having a difficulties finding the time to see one another. He had a lot going on and I just didn't know what was going on with us. I didn't know him that well or for that long, but I really liked him so it was a bit troubling.
December... started off great! I thought things were finally getting back on track. Every weekend was booked... Polar Express with friends and kids, two weekends in a row with visitors, my birthday... it was all great! Then I got sick. I got sick in middle of December. I just finished my antibiotics last week and this week my son had the flu. It's been almost a month of sickness and it has been draining! I've been such a hermit, and not by choice.
So here I am today... trying to find what I need and want to do to shift the weight over towards my side a bit more. When I read what I just wrote, there is nothing that was so awful that happened and I am very fortunate for that! Ironic that many of the things that I feel helped throw things out of balance were positive things... like vacations and holidays.
I feel that last year, I knew that I had to focus on finding myself and I had to make sure that I was doing things to that would ensure my mental and physical health. And I did. And it felt great, I felt great! I was a more energetic mother, friend, and teacher. I need to find that again. And I will, as long as I can find that balance.
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