My Outer Shell

Ok, I can't do this... but it would be awesome if I could!

This post is a follow up to Wednesday's post, An Acquired Taste.  It  comes at a very timely time as I have just completed the p90x home fitness program this past week!  So let me start from there.  p90x consisted of 12 CD's and worked everything.  Shoulders, back, chest, triceps, biceps, abs, and legs were all addressed through push ups, pull ups, free weights, yoga, kickboxing, stretching, and cardio.  It was a complete workout and I loved it.  I loved it despite the fact that I have lost 1 pound (I didn't follow the diet) and a half an inch in my waist... that's it!  But I am in such great shape now and I feel amazing.  I can do pull ups, push ups, and my flexibility is the best its been since I was in my athletic prime in high school.

This program did take me more than 90 days to complete.  But I was completely dedicated to it and the fact that it took me longer is because I made up the workouts I missed due to sicknesses, visitors, and a funeral.  I started way back in March and I am just proud of myself for sticking with it for so long and seeing it through to the end.  I've worked so hard and feel so great that I don't want to lose that.  I feel like I can even kick up (my physique) a notch by continuing this during the summer (I'm cutting down from 6 to 4 days a week though) and by going to an actual kickboxing class (my favorite workout besides yoga) which I am planning to start in September. 

I started this program back in March because I felt that I came to a point where I had worked on my insides so much that I felt I was truly happy with myself, confident in myself, and didn't need all my focus on finding and defining myself any longer.  It was time to work on my outside and make that match my insides.  :) 

So back to the focus for this post and the connection that it has with my post from the other day, the outer shell, my outer shell.  Like it or not, it is what gives off the first impression and it's important. And it should be, not more so than the insides, but physical attraction is extremely relevant.  For me, who does rely heavily on online dating, my appearance matters all the more.  And I have to kick in living in NYC too.  There are SO many people here.  There are SO many options.  There are SO many beautiful people here.  The competition is heavy.  Now I know it only takes one, but the more people I attract, the more choices I have.

So in that post I keep referring too, I listed the top three things that made a woman attractive... being fit, facial structure, and hair.  Here's what I am going to do about them.  But, before I do, let me just point out that these are decisions that I am making about myself.  I am going to stay true to myself and only enhance what I already have to make me feel more feminine and sexy.  Grrrr (lol... I had some rum tonight.)

1.  Being physically fit... Well, I already addressed this one above.  The only thing I need to add on is that even though I feel that I am well dressed and don't really need to improve in that area... I do need to look for a few dresses/outfits that I can "show off" my body better while still remaining classic, sophisticated, and fun!

2.  Facial structure... Well, I am not going to have any kind of surgery, lol.  But I did play with the camera last night.  I took a head shot, cut my face in half, duplicated that half and found... that I still looked pretty much like me still.  Verdict... I am pretty symmetrical!  Yay!  I was thinking though that to improve this area, perhaps I have to focus on makeup (which is its own category).  I am not very good with make up but I do want to have three looks.  I want to find a look where I use less makeup.  I am very fair.  My eyebrows and eyelashes are super blond and barely noticeable.  So, I use an eyebrow pencil, eyeliner, and mascara everyday because otherwise I feel there is no focus on my face... nowhere for the eye to grab on to.   I have been forgoing the eyeliner these past few days of summer and I've felt good.  I have some color from the son and with mascara... I still feel like my eyes can be catching.  The second look I want is to have those big three (brows, liner, and mascara) alongside with a more natural eye shadow and lip gloss... This would be my main, "go to" face.  Finally, I want to learn how to do something fun.  I don't know what colors are best for me, etc.  So yes, I am a makeup wearer, but I don't think I over do it.  I just want to learn how to do it better!

3.  Hair... ugh.  I get it, long hair.  I am so far from having long hair, it would probably take me 2 years to have "long" hair, which would equate to perhaps the shoulder, just a tad.  One thing that I won't do is extensions.  I will wear makeup, I will color my hair, heck... I have under wire and padding (but not the ones that make you 2 cups sizes larger than I really am!), but I do have a limit on how far from my natural self I will go.   I don't wear false eyelashes and I won't get extensions.  I could see putting some fun colors, etc. in my hair as is now, but I can't bring myself to add on 6 inches of hair.  That's just too much for me.  If I did that it would be to impress men, entirely and that's not what this is all about.  It's about pushing my limits and changing myself in ways that I feel comfortable and are true to me.  I think that if a guy cared so much about the length of my hair, he wouldn't be the one for me anyways.

So having said all of that, I have decided to seek help.  I have a friend, a gay guy friend, who is a hair and makeup stylist.  I just messaged him today asking for his help in making me hot!  Maybe he can bump me up to a 7.5... and if he's really good, an 8!?!.. I don't know about that, but maybe to someone I could be :).  I'm excited about playing around with makeup and changing my look with different colors, etc.  I'm also excited about his opinion on what I can do to make the most of my short hair.  I have no problems growing it out, or attempting to... it would give me a fresh look, but I desperately need help in doing that so that it looks a way in which doesn't make me feel self conscious about, because that's definitely not what this is all about.

More than anything, I just want to have fun working on my outer shell.  I feel like I have been so intense lately.  And I can be intense and serious, but I really am laid back and yes, I can be lots of fun too!  Time to show that off!