Tuesday, May 1, 2012

A Treasure House

I did it again.  It's a new month and I have veered away from my Happiness Project Focus for April.  It was a good one, parenthood.  Well, I shouldn't say that I veered away from it because I didn't completely, I just didn't write more about it as I had planned.

One of the ideas for helping to create a happier home was to "be a treasure house of happy memories."  This includes creating happy moments and traditions.  As some of my more recent posts may have indicated, I am starting to feel more settled here in New York and I am starting to wonder if perhaps this is  "home."  One thing that has lead me to this thought is the acceptance of my current apartment as my home.  I have tried to make it feel more comfy, more me.  I have bought some new decor and like planned, I have spent the last two nights painting.  A little paint can go a long way and I already feel like my apartment is more welcoming, bright, and cheery.  These little changes may not be happy memories, however, the atmosphere that they help to create is part of a treasured house.   I want my son, my family, and my friends to all feel a positive aurora when they step into my home.

This apartment also holds happy and precious memories as well with my husband.  I have many photos of my son and his father in this very apartment.  I know that when it is time for me to leave this place, it will tug at my heartstrings because it does hold our last memories together as a family.  But, what my son and I have are precious photos and videos.  I do not take them out that often.  However, there are plenty of pictures scattered around the apartment for my son to see and two special family photos above his crib.  My son knows his father.

Another idea that Gretchen gives for this topic is to create and uphold family traditions.  I have paid especially close attention to traditions this past year as I have tried to find ways to keep the spirit of my husband alive for our son.  Here are some of our (my son and I) traditions...
     -Father's Day:  Plant Flowers
     -Daddy's Birthday:  Ice Cream Cake
     -Wedding Anniversary:  Send cards of love and appreciation to those people who mean so much
     -Thanksgiving:  Macy's Parade, Turkey and Pies prepared with my husband's recipe
     -Christmas:  Continue the tradition we started on our son's first Christmas with the gift of a special book and inscription inside
     -My Son's Half Birthday:  Make half-moon cookies with his father's recipe
     -Easter:  Tulips, Easter Egg Hunt, Spend day at the park

As I am writing these, I feel like there is so much more that I do on a daily/weekly basis, like mentioning something to my son about his father, etc.  Those tradition above do not include any old family traditions, I just geared them towards my husband's memory.

Those traditions lead us up to this time of the year.  The one year mark is almost here.  I think the heaviness of the anticipation of it is what's going to make it possible to get through it.  I have already started to release some of the emotions.  However, I do not know what to do on this day.  I know that I will not go to work on that day.  I also know that I won't be able to visit the cemetery because my husband is buried in his hometown.  It is too far of a drive with my son for one day back and forth.  I am not sure if I should do something special with my son and make it a tradition or if I should just make it a simple day.  A simple day to enjoy the simple joys of life and to reflect on our lives together.

Just the thought of it now brings tears to my eyes.  This is going to be a tough 16 days to get through.  But we will find a way to get through them as we have for each day of this past year.  Whatever it is that we do on this upcoming day or any day afterwards, tradition or no tradition, I will continue to work diligently to make sure that my son's childhood and beyond are filled with treasured memories of his father, with me, with other family and friends, and full of as many different and positive experiences as I can provide for him.



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