My single crew consists of only three: a social butterfly, a hipster, and me, the widowed mother . We're not exactly Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda, lol. But, it is very true. It is tough being single. Let me rephrase, it is tough being a single woman in New York City. Wait... let me rephrase again, it tough being a single woman who is looking for love here in New York City. Eeek, one more time, it is tough being a single woman who is no longer in her twenties looking for love in New York City. Phew... I think I finally got it right.
Okay, so I am not being pessimistic or bitter. But I finally understand what I have heard so many single women my age complain about. I've heard it's hard to date in NYC... I thought it was a myth. There are SO many people here. But I think that is part of the problem. There's too many choices. But, I am going to stay true to my word in that yes this may all be true, but love does happen and can be found for sure. I am optimistic for not only myself, but my friends as well.
But here's an update on what has been going on since you-know-who...
1. The Valentine's Day Dumper: I got right back out there after saying goodbye to that guy (and if you read the post from two days ago, yes his name is Jesse, lol) and had a date set up for the weekend after Valentine's Day. Well... two days before, on Valentine's Day!, he decided to tell me that he "reread" my profile and didn't think it would work. Fair enough... but on Valentine's Day, c'mon.
2. Sausage Fingers: I recovered nicely from the VDD and that very next day, Friday, I met a nice man and we set up a date for that Saturday (Perfect since I already had my sitter coming!). We had great conversation that whole night and he took me to a cool wine bar and restaurant later on for dessert and paid for everything. The first thing I noticed though were his hands. He was on the phone when I walked into the bar and immediately noticed his sausage fingers, ugh. He had a cute face, but I couldn't get past his fingers. Don't judge me too harshly, he really was my rebound guy/date. We texted the next day but neither one of us text again after that.
3. The (Younger) New Jersey Dad: This guy was very sweet and polite. He was even a bit old-fashioned and we actually talked on the phone, twice! before going out. I was actually excited about this one. We met at a restaurant in Manhattan and he was super cute! I physically had an attraction to him which was a relief because I was started to wonder what was going on, lol. Conversation... dull. In that aspect, it had been the worst date I had been on. He was on the quite side. I am too so I am understanding of that and that didn't make me rule him out. What did though was the topics that he did bring up. He was a divorced father of two. We talked about our kids, fine. We talked about our first marriages, a bit too much. A couple happened to get engaged at the restaurant that night and it led him asking and the both of us sharing our engagement stories. He talked about how he and his wife grew apart and I swear I think I saw a twinkle of sadness in his eyes and he stared off to the side. But... he was cute and sweet. I wanted to see him again and see if there could be anything. Our next date... we ate dinner (he did pay again :)) and an hour and a half later, I was on my way home. We just didn't connect conversationally. We didn't feed off of one another, it was awkward.
4. The (Older) New Jersey Dad: This man was in his forties... and we texted a bunch of times over the course of a couple weeks. Between life in general and his every other weekend free it took a long time to set up a date. About 4 days before, I cancelled. There were things that the younger version of himself (see #3) made me realize about dating men with children who live further away. 1. It's hard enough to set up dates around the children's schedule let alone when they live further away. And, it's so expensive to get into and out of NJ. 2. Also, because of situations with the kids, I felt like they would never want to move into NYC and I am not looking to move out. So I thought best to not go through with it. He replied back very kindly. He probably was a real good one.
5. Mr. Fancy Shoes: He said he had a thing for shoes, fine shoes which led me to believe that he was a savvy, rich business man. That was something new for me. Not to be shallow, but there's a lot of power and money here, if I am open to everyone and everything else, why not try that? I learned there is a price to pay, he worked long hours. He didn't have much of a social life or friends (said they were all coworkers who'd stab him in the back at any moment to get ahead). He was also foreign and from a country where the woman's role was more domestic. That showed in his views and things that he texted to me about my life. All of these things I learned as time and texting went on. At first he seemed very charming, but I was quickly becoming unimpressed. However, despite reservations, I kept the date. He didn't. He cancelled an hour before. Apologize profusely. Never heard from him again. A blessing in disguise I think!
6. Wickedly (Creepy) Blue Eyes: I am a fan of blue eyes, but these where so light and blue they looked fake, but they weren't. And they creeped me out. I couldn't even keep eye contact with him. But maybe it was the fact that he was about 10 years older than what his profile said. No, that's not a guess. It's a fact. He told me his last name, so of course... I Googled him. I didn't find much, but Linked In told me his age. But, I decided to still give him a chance. Conversation wasn't good. I think he was nervous. He drank alot. The more he drank, the looser he became and the conversation did improve a bit. But between the alcohol influence, lying about his age, and the hot mess appearance, I just couldn't. I texted a friend "Help!" ten minutes into it. But, he did motivate me in a very important way! He was an investor. After him, I got my money together and invested it. Something I had on my "To Do" list for a very long time.
7. Mr. Looks Good on Paper: His initial contact was very nice as he seemed to have appreciated my profile. We e-mailed for about a week. Pretty long e-mails and I felt a real connection, the first time since Jesse. We even talked on the phone! We met at a cafe in Manhattan and I thought the date went well. We conversed well. Things seemed to flow. One thing I noticed was that I did not feel a physical pull to him. He was 40 but it in very good shape and lean (no sausage fingers!). I found him attractive, but I felt like this date was more about getting to be friends. There was no touching nor did I feel the desire for that either. It was weird in that aspect. But... we went to a wine and cupcake bar (heaven!) for dessert. He asked to split the bill, hmm.... that should have been a sign. On paper, this guy seemed great. Well traveled, well spoken, intelligent, sounded like he came from a good close family, but... there was definitely something missing. But, I wanted to go out with him again. I thought there was still lots of potential. We texted that night and a few days after, but his texts seemed to focus on dogs(?). I took that as a sign to wait for him to text again as I would not. Well... nothing. I feel as if he was looking for someone who would and could get up and go/travel at a whims noticed for long periods of time. That's what he did. I don't have that freedom or money (and I am not sure how he has that money either). However, I took something far more valuable from my experience with him (click here).
8. Hawaii 5-0: He's actually a chef. But he was from Hawaii. This was actually last week. He contacted me first. He was a good story writer and his messages were fun and interesting to read. After about 5/6 days, it faded. But it was nice break from reality for a bit.
9. Texas Chainsaw: Last Friday I "met" a guy who was not facially very attractive to me. His style and physique were so I thought I would be open to him because what I read on his profile, he seemed like someone I was looking for. We texted all night long on Friday and were really hitting it off. Until... he shared a tragic family story. It led to him telling me about a situation involving him with guns and assault weapons and a potential shoot out. Now, I am not going political here. What frightened me was that there appeared to be an inner rage with him and that was more scary to me than all of those guns. I let that one gently fade. And I thanked my lucky stars that as odd as it was for him to tell me that on a first encounter, that he did. He, of course, was one who contacted me back. I lied and told him I had a date over the weekend that went very well and I wanted to see where it led. He texted me again tonight. I am not going to respond.
10. Florida Freddie: Yup, another out of towner. I asked why he initiated. He said I was beautiful and had a great smile (awww). We have texted alot on the past few days. He seems really nice and he is originally from Connecticut, so he is familiar with NYC and the northeast. But, he owns a restaurant in Orlando. There is no potential here, but why not? (Maybe I'll learn something from him... Hopefully how to make a good stromboli for my dinner party next Friday!) We didn't text today, so I am sure we are in the fading mode.
So... that's that. There may be no sex happening in the city for me, but there are a few stories that could be worthy of Carrie's pen.
P.S. I have taken myself off line. I need to regroup, lol.
Okay, so I am not being pessimistic or bitter. But I finally understand what I have heard so many single women my age complain about. I've heard it's hard to date in NYC... I thought it was a myth. There are SO many people here. But I think that is part of the problem. There's too many choices. But, I am going to stay true to my word in that yes this may all be true, but love does happen and can be found for sure. I am optimistic for not only myself, but my friends as well.
But here's an update on what has been going on since you-know-who...
1. The Valentine's Day Dumper: I got right back out there after saying goodbye to that guy (and if you read the post from two days ago, yes his name is Jesse, lol) and had a date set up for the weekend after Valentine's Day. Well... two days before, on Valentine's Day!, he decided to tell me that he "reread" my profile and didn't think it would work. Fair enough... but on Valentine's Day, c'mon.
2. Sausage Fingers: I recovered nicely from the VDD and that very next day, Friday, I met a nice man and we set up a date for that Saturday (Perfect since I already had my sitter coming!). We had great conversation that whole night and he took me to a cool wine bar and restaurant later on for dessert and paid for everything. The first thing I noticed though were his hands. He was on the phone when I walked into the bar and immediately noticed his sausage fingers, ugh. He had a cute face, but I couldn't get past his fingers. Don't judge me too harshly, he really was my rebound guy/date. We texted the next day but neither one of us text again after that.
3. The (Younger) New Jersey Dad: This guy was very sweet and polite. He was even a bit old-fashioned and we actually talked on the phone, twice! before going out. I was actually excited about this one. We met at a restaurant in Manhattan and he was super cute! I physically had an attraction to him which was a relief because I was started to wonder what was going on, lol. Conversation... dull. In that aspect, it had been the worst date I had been on. He was on the quite side. I am too so I am understanding of that and that didn't make me rule him out. What did though was the topics that he did bring up. He was a divorced father of two. We talked about our kids, fine. We talked about our first marriages, a bit too much. A couple happened to get engaged at the restaurant that night and it led him asking and the both of us sharing our engagement stories. He talked about how he and his wife grew apart and I swear I think I saw a twinkle of sadness in his eyes and he stared off to the side. But... he was cute and sweet. I wanted to see him again and see if there could be anything. Our next date... we ate dinner (he did pay again :)) and an hour and a half later, I was on my way home. We just didn't connect conversationally. We didn't feed off of one another, it was awkward.
4. The (Older) New Jersey Dad: This man was in his forties... and we texted a bunch of times over the course of a couple weeks. Between life in general and his every other weekend free it took a long time to set up a date. About 4 days before, I cancelled. There were things that the younger version of himself (see #3) made me realize about dating men with children who live further away. 1. It's hard enough to set up dates around the children's schedule let alone when they live further away. And, it's so expensive to get into and out of NJ. 2. Also, because of situations with the kids, I felt like they would never want to move into NYC and I am not looking to move out. So I thought best to not go through with it. He replied back very kindly. He probably was a real good one.
5. Mr. Fancy Shoes: He said he had a thing for shoes, fine shoes which led me to believe that he was a savvy, rich business man. That was something new for me. Not to be shallow, but there's a lot of power and money here, if I am open to everyone and everything else, why not try that? I learned there is a price to pay, he worked long hours. He didn't have much of a social life or friends (said they were all coworkers who'd stab him in the back at any moment to get ahead). He was also foreign and from a country where the woman's role was more domestic. That showed in his views and things that he texted to me about my life. All of these things I learned as time and texting went on. At first he seemed very charming, but I was quickly becoming unimpressed. However, despite reservations, I kept the date. He didn't. He cancelled an hour before. Apologize profusely. Never heard from him again. A blessing in disguise I think!
6. Wickedly (Creepy) Blue Eyes: I am a fan of blue eyes, but these where so light and blue they looked fake, but they weren't. And they creeped me out. I couldn't even keep eye contact with him. But maybe it was the fact that he was about 10 years older than what his profile said. No, that's not a guess. It's a fact. He told me his last name, so of course... I Googled him. I didn't find much, but Linked In told me his age. But, I decided to still give him a chance. Conversation wasn't good. I think he was nervous. He drank alot. The more he drank, the looser he became and the conversation did improve a bit. But between the alcohol influence, lying about his age, and the hot mess appearance, I just couldn't. I texted a friend "Help!" ten minutes into it. But, he did motivate me in a very important way! He was an investor. After him, I got my money together and invested it. Something I had on my "To Do" list for a very long time.
7. Mr. Looks Good on Paper: His initial contact was very nice as he seemed to have appreciated my profile. We e-mailed for about a week. Pretty long e-mails and I felt a real connection, the first time since Jesse. We even talked on the phone! We met at a cafe in Manhattan and I thought the date went well. We conversed well. Things seemed to flow. One thing I noticed was that I did not feel a physical pull to him. He was 40 but it in very good shape and lean (no sausage fingers!). I found him attractive, but I felt like this date was more about getting to be friends. There was no touching nor did I feel the desire for that either. It was weird in that aspect. But... we went to a wine and cupcake bar (heaven!) for dessert. He asked to split the bill, hmm.... that should have been a sign. On paper, this guy seemed great. Well traveled, well spoken, intelligent, sounded like he came from a good close family, but... there was definitely something missing. But, I wanted to go out with him again. I thought there was still lots of potential. We texted that night and a few days after, but his texts seemed to focus on dogs(?). I took that as a sign to wait for him to text again as I would not. Well... nothing. I feel as if he was looking for someone who would and could get up and go/travel at a whims noticed for long periods of time. That's what he did. I don't have that freedom or money (and I am not sure how he has that money either). However, I took something far more valuable from my experience with him (click here).
8. Hawaii 5-0: He's actually a chef. But he was from Hawaii. This was actually last week. He contacted me first. He was a good story writer and his messages were fun and interesting to read. After about 5/6 days, it faded. But it was nice break from reality for a bit.
9. Texas Chainsaw: Last Friday I "met" a guy who was not facially very attractive to me. His style and physique were so I thought I would be open to him because what I read on his profile, he seemed like someone I was looking for. We texted all night long on Friday and were really hitting it off. Until... he shared a tragic family story. It led to him telling me about a situation involving him with guns and assault weapons and a potential shoot out. Now, I am not going political here. What frightened me was that there appeared to be an inner rage with him and that was more scary to me than all of those guns. I let that one gently fade. And I thanked my lucky stars that as odd as it was for him to tell me that on a first encounter, that he did. He, of course, was one who contacted me back. I lied and told him I had a date over the weekend that went very well and I wanted to see where it led. He texted me again tonight. I am not going to respond.
10. Florida Freddie: Yup, another out of towner. I asked why he initiated. He said I was beautiful and had a great smile (awww). We have texted alot on the past few days. He seems really nice and he is originally from Connecticut, so he is familiar with NYC and the northeast. But, he owns a restaurant in Orlando. There is no potential here, but why not? (Maybe I'll learn something from him... Hopefully how to make a good stromboli for my dinner party next Friday!) We didn't text today, so I am sure we are in the fading mode.
So... that's that. There may be no sex happening in the city for me, but there are a few stories that could be worthy of Carrie's pen.
P.S. I have taken myself off line. I need to regroup, lol.
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